It’s exhausting growing up as a Muslim girl and I hated dealing with the obvious gender-bias and sexism in clothing.

My family fell in the cultural and discount Muslim categories, and I also grew up with girls from very Islamist families who were taught the hijab was an obligation on Muslim girls and women. They were never even allowed to take off their hijab, jilbab or niqab. Anything less was a ticket to hell and Allah’s punishments.

Regardless, it just felt like we were constantly trying to follow all the Islamic purity culture rules that our parents want us to follow to be good Muslim girls.

But those rules controll access to our own bodies, hair, voices and choices, as if we’re born as sex objects for men, not actual humans. All to avoid the “male gaze” and save yourself for marriage! BONKERS! 🙄

And to make matters worse, those same purity culture rules that control us in our Muslim homes are also implemented as laws by Islamist Muslim governments. They restrict and police our freedom to wear whatever the f*ck we want in public too.

Haram Doodles:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DcwIAQFm1l4/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTUJ1DF4y/

Can we do smthg for the womens in Afghanistan...

I saw this on Twitter and had to post it here. What are your opinions on this?

I don’t really know how to write this without sounding like I’m writing some dramatic “I escaped religion” essay, so I’m just going to tell the story.

I was raised Muslim. My family was very religious, and there were a LOT of rules growing up. What I could wear, how I was supposed to behave, what I could eat, what I could and couldn’t do, what kind of relationships I was allowed to have, what was expected of me because I was born female, etc. Even though I don’t identify as female anymore, that was obviously how I was raised and it affected me a lot.

For years, I was just angry. Not even necessarily angry at individual Muslims. I was angry that I had spent so much of my childhood being told that there was one correct way to live and that questioning it was dangerous.

My older brother actually left Islam before I did. And this is where my family situation gets completely fucking insane.

My brother was eventually arrested and is currently in prison for child pornography. I don’t have a relationship with him anymore and honestly, I don’t even call him my brother when I’m talking about him sometimes. That’s how disconnected I feel from him.

But my Muslim father still supports him.

He literally just got him an apartment for when he gets out.

My brother calls my dad from prison basically every day. At some point he started telling my dad that he was Muslim again. Apparently he’s praying, he’s “found Allah,” etc.

And my dad’s response?

“MashaAllah. MashaAllah. MashaAllah, my son. MashaAllah.”

Over and over.

I don’t even know how to explain what that did to me. Watching my father respond with that kind of joy and pride toward someone who did something so horrific made me question a LOT about what exactly morality was supposed to mean in my family.

And then there’s my parents’ relationship, which is its own fucking story. My dad treated my mom terribly. My mom isn’t Arab; she’s a white woman who converted for him when they were young. There’s a whole history there that I don’t even want to get into because this post would become a novel.

But eventually I just couldn’t do it anymore.

I left Islam.

And honestly?

I am so fucking happy.

I didn’t realize how much mental space religion was taking up until I didn’t have to think about it anymore.

I don’t have to constantly worry about whether something I’m doing is haram. I don’t have to feel guilty for questioning things. I don’t have to structure my entire life around rules that I don’t believe in anymore.

And one of the biggest things for me has been relationships.

I have a white boyfriend now. He knows my history. He knows where I came from, he knows what my family is like, and he’s supportive of me. I don’t have to hide him or feel like I’m doing something wrong simply because I’m dating someone I love.

It’s such a weird feeling to realize that things I was taught to fear can actually just be… normal life.

I can make my own decisions now.

I can figure out my own morals.

I can decide what kind of person I want to be.

And I don’t have to believe something just because I was born into it.

I know this subreddit has people at every stage of leaving. Some people are angry, some are sad, some are scared, some are still questioning, and some are completely done with religion.

I’m mostly just relieved.

I genuinely feel like I can breathe.

Also, completely unrelated but I need to say this somewhere:

BACON IS SO FUCKING GOOD.

How did I go my entire life without eating bacon???

I ate it after leaving and literally thought, “Are you fucking kidding me? THIS is what I was missing?”

Anyway. That’s my ex-Muslim revelation.

I left Islam.

I’m happy.

And bacon is delicious.

Professional can dish it out but can't take it. Most of the comments under stuff like this is from Muslims all giddy and happy that they're oppressing, humiliating, and scaring every minority in their countries and how they should be glad they're not being hunted down at all. But the moment praying in public and wearing niqabs are banned somewhere? Those same ppl will call for freedom of belief.

They're proud of being oppressors while simultaneously crying about oppression.

I’m an ex-muslim. I come from a muslim family and it’s annoying asf. My father has a PhD in Islamic studies but he doesn’t even use it so his degree is pointless and he acts like the perfect muslim ever and is the biggest hypocrite ever. I genuinely cannot stand him. Islam really does ruin so many people including my dad because he was indoctrinated like everyone else.

This is the same guy who he cheated on my mom before she passed away from battling stage 4 breast cancer for 7 years but thinks praying 5 times a day, doing dua’a, and fasting for a whole month automatically grants him jannah. Of course he remarried because that is what all muslim men do and only care about is getting another woman.

It’s been almost 4 years since my mom died. She died back in 2023 in March and since then I wasn’t able to grieve peacefully. I still think about her. Two days before my mom died, my dad got my mom to say the shahada and the worst part is she was unable to talk or move because she was dying from a liver failure cancer cells spread to her liver unfortunately. I will always remember mama.

This is how messed up Muslims are and for what Islam teaches people. It just brainwashes people to be dumb and stupid. The worst part is they don’t care how others around them feel because at the end all they care about is religion and nothing else. How delusional Muslims can be and are not emotionally and socially intelligent enough.

Has anyone else experienced something similar to what I am going through or at least know someone who is?

How do I cope with losing my mom after all the shitty things religion has done to my life?

It’s like tug of war.

I covered this in my book, but the idea that there was a 'riddah' where everyone first accepted islam and then only when Muhammed died did everyone suddenly apostatise and suddenly out of nowhere Riddah prophets appeared and became non muslims is nonsense, it's not true.

I discuss how https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/s/v8oFaPt170 musaylima actually appeared far before the muslims claim he did, in 624ce and/or there was simply a spelling mistake (which itself is hilarious).

Even the Quran agrees with me, that actually even among the so called muslims this was not really sincere belief

"The desert Arabs say, 'We have believed.' Say, 'You have not believed; but say, "We have submitted," for faith has not yet entered into your hearts.'" - Quran 49:14

And there is this whole distinction between 'islam' = submission and 'iman' =actual faith.

So with that being said, let's go through the map allegiances I painstakingly made. I will put a small disclaimer, sub tribes do exist within everything I'm saying, so it's not 100% anything, but as far as we can tell anyway/ this is a massive topic and it honestly could be a books worth on it's own, what I'm showing is that 'riddah' or 'apostasy' is basically a lie.

Dark green.= core islamic territories during so called 'riddah'

Not actually that much, if you actually inspect the tribes involved, a bunch of them were basically just Mecca's diplomatic umbrella; they were the Kinanah, Hadhayl and Khuza'ah, when Muhammed conquered Mecca these tribes defected to Muhammed and the Muslims, but they were basically diplomatic and trade allies of Mecca, when Muhammed conquered Mecca he basically inherited them because they were loyal to Mecca rather than islam. Nonetheless they were pretty core territories during the so called 'riddah'
The next 'core' territory is the Juhaynah who were one of the first tribes to make a treaty with the Muslims even before he conquered Mecca.

The next 'core' territory I would consider is the Ma'afir. They were massively bribed, but their loyalty as a result was pretty iron tight. They were given tax collection privileges over the entire south of arabia, pretty much bribed them into being 'muslims'.

Then there's the recently conquered Quraysh, and that's about it.

That neatly goes onto the light green, enemy of my enemy/bribed 'muslims'

A bunch of tribes classify as this,

The Yafi were rivals of the Ans (Aswad's tribe) so sided with the muslims
The Hamadan were rivals of the Murad who were pro Aswad so aligned with the muslims

Akk and Asharun- were rivals of the Zubayd (who were pro Aswad) again not really 'muslims' so much as anti Aswad's tribal allies.

Abdul Qays were rivals of the Banu Hanifa (musaylima's tribe) so aligned with the muslims

If we move onto the more economic light green, who I could have made a different colour, but chose not to just for my sanity sake and for simplicity sake.

The Hawazin received a loot rebate, after the battle of Hunayn 630ce, the muslims basically gave up all the loot and captives and even gave 100 camels to the chief as a sweetener to be loyal basically.
The Kilab- literally got mineral rights, gold mines. Again basically a bribe to them so they would stay loyal and be loyal muslims.
The Uqayl- were given land grants of fertile aqeeq valley

And finally the Thaqif were given lucrative tax privileges and trade privileges.

Outside of the dark green and light green, core and bribed, vs enemy of my enemy, pretty much everyone else everywhere else, were not muslims at all.

In grey are the more independent powers, not aligned with the four riddah prophets.

-> Azd Uman were initially pro muslim under the Julanda brothers but were overthrown by a regional pretender Laqit bin Malik who had a rivalry with the julanda brothers

-> The Banu Kindah did launch a revolt against the muslims but waited until after Al Aswad was defeated before launching their rebellion.

->The Banu Mahrah were disloyal to Medinah, and were divided into the Bani Muharib and the Bani Shakhrat, this is not a detail in my book, but they used the weaker disloyal Banu Shakhrat against the Banu Muharib to conquer the tribe as a whole.

The Banu Hilal, Ka'ab and Dabbah- largely sat out of the riddah wars basically choosing to be neutral.

In white are honestly the most formidable rivals of the muslims, Al Aswad's coalition in the south who I've already described somewhat. Whether you choose to believe Al Aswad was connected to the Dhul Khalasa or not, (and again it deserves it's own post) nonetheless-

Ans (his name literally Aswad al Ansi), so Aswad's own tribe
Al hadda,
Zubayd-

Murad (aforementioned rivals of Hamadan)

Al Harith- (who had their own najran Kaaba)
Khatham- who were deeply connected to the Dhul Khalasa and allied with Aswad,

Through the Khatham, that gives him 4 more tribal allies,
Daws,
Al Azd,
Bahila
and the midhal

When you read the history and see 'oh a muslim assassinated Al Aswad'- that's why he had like 10 southern Arabian tribes behind him, and the muslims were scared of open battle with this guy.

the Khatham allegiance does suggest, and his nickname 'the black one' does suggest to me at least that he was connected to the Dhul Khalasa that was a white stone; there is even a Hadith Timirdhi 877, which reads
"The Black Stone descended from Paradise, and it was whiter than milk, then it was blackened by the sins of the children of Adam." - the issue of course being the Dhul Khalasa was already white, which reads like a subtle dig at the black stone of the quraysh and the muslims; again deserves it's own post.

IN red are Tulayha's forces, not very significant but nonetheless,

The Ghatafan and the Asad tribes, total disloyal to muslims before the riddah and after it, there is even campaigns detailing how the muslims raided their territory and stole things from them, the 'ghatafan mystery raids make zero sense' and are frankly laughable. Again deserves its own post.

In brown are Sajah's forces, I can't remember which way around but one of her parents was Banu Taghlib and the other was Banu Tamim, the Tamim were so annoying to muslims they actually invented this whole 'pagans buried their daughters' thing which I have thoroughly debunked in another post;https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/1vmla7d/pagan_used_to_bury_their_daughters_disproven_and/
but it's extra absurd on the Tamim since before Sajah they were christians so extra reason for them to not have done this, an absurd bit of islamic propaganda that muslims believe for whatever reason.

In the East are Musaylima's forces
Banu Hanifa,
Hizzan
and Numayr

They fought at Aqraba and nearly won. That was three tribes, and again if we go by the Kudr invasion of 624ce, that largely meant Musaylima's movement existed since at least 624ce (or a scribe misread Bahran as Bahrain or both frankly)

All of this to say, the Arabian peninsula was anything but unified even before Muhammed died, and there was not a sudden 'riddah' but actually a whole lot of messy politics

Not even getting into the Northern Arabia border zone, where the Romans through the ghassanids paid a bunch of tribes ata' basically subsidies so they stay loyal. These were the people who beat the muslims at mut'ah and only later when the Romans stopped paying subsidies did they defect.

Same is true of the Sassanians, except their client tribes were totally disloyal, having been beaten at Dhi Qar for example, although granted much of them were doing their own thing.

So to recap:
Western core, muslim. With significant opportunists.

Some opportunists and regional rivals of other tribes in the south. (anything but pacified, even having their own religious centre.) let alone

In the north, you have Sajah and Tulayha,
In the East you have Musaylima his tribal centres, let alone the Azd Uman and other independently oriented tribes.

Riddah is fundamentally a lie, there was no riddah for most of the Arabian peninsula, they were already in alternate movements even before Muhammed's death.

Even many 'Muslims' were superficial at best anyways, much more about the economics than it was religion.

If you want to read more about this topic and much more, check out my book at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H2FVKNXL?binding=kindle_edition&ref=dbs_dp_sirpi

For me, it was lies about the Quran being a scientific miracle and the Quranic verses where Muhammad uses Allah for his own benefit, for instance, verses 66:1-5, and the immorality allowing concubines in the religion. Furthermore, the stories that he presents were known about and are entirely fictional fables.

This is a bit of a story and sorry for posting too much but my uncles wife had these sisters who were both deemed as pretty and suddenly apparently they were acting odd and their family took them to the doctor (it was separate). The doctor from my country couldn’t tell them or find the reason they were acting weird so he advised them to get the sisters exorcised… long story short both of them died of what I’ve researched is epilepsy and I think one of them was schizophrenic but she wasn’t being taken seriously and was getting told that she got given special powers by Allah to see jinns.. these girls died knowing their mom was scared to even see them because she thought that they were possessed and to this day I’m still trying to tell my relatives it was epilepsy but they won’t believe me.. this is happening all around the world and mental health and epilepsy isn’t being taken seriously enough people are dying because their families turned to religion to solve their “possession”
Also I saw this post about the case of Earleen Tucker she ripped her mothers heart out of her body because of a severe mental illness and people in the comments of the body cam video were branding it as “demonic possession”…

"how is that (girl)?"

On that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) called Barirah and said, 'O Barirah. Did you ever see anything which roused your suspicions about her?' Barirah said, 'No, by Allah Who has sent you with the Truth, I have never seen in her anything faulty except that she is a girl of *immature age* who sometimes sleeps and leaves the dough for the goats to eat.'

On that day I kept on weeping so much so that neither did my tears stop, nor could I sleep. In the morning my parents were with me and I had wept for two nights and a day, till I thought my liver would burst from weeping. While they were sitting with me and I was weeping, an Ansari woman asked my permission to enter, and I allowed her to come in. She sat down and started weeping with me. While we were in this state, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) came and sat down and he had never sat with me since the day they forged the accusation. No revelation regarding my case came to him for a month. He recited Tashah-hud (i.e. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad is His Apostle) and then said, 'O Aisha! I have been informed such-and-such about you; if you are innocent, then Allah will soon reveal your innocence, and if you have committed a sin, then repent to Allah and ask Him to forgive you, for when a person confesses his sin and asks Allah for forgiveness, Allah accepts his repentance.' When Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) finished his speech my tears ceased completely and there remained not even a single drop of it. I requested my father to reply to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) on my behalf. My father said, By Allah, I do not know what to say to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ).' I said to my mother, 'Talk to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) on my behalf.' She said, 'By Allah, I do not know what to say to Allah's Apostle. I was a young girl and did not have much knowledge of the Qur'an. I said. 'I know, by Allah, that you have listened to what people are saying and that has been planted in your minds and you have taken it as a truth. Now, if I told you that I am innocent and Allah knows that I am innocent, you would not believe me and if I confessed to you falsely that I am guilty, and Allah knows that I am innocent you would believe me. By Allah, I don't compare my situation with you except to the situation of Joseph's father (i.e. Jacob) who said, 'So (for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert and it is Allah (Alone) whose help can be sought.' Then I turned to the other side of my bed hoping that Allah would prove my innocence. By Allah I never thought that Allah would reveal Divine Inspiration in my case, as I considered myself too inferior to be talked of in the Holy Qur'an. I had hoped that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) might have a dream in which Allah would prove my innocence. By Allah, Allah's Apostle had not got up and nobody had left the house before the Divine Inspiration came to Allah's Apostle. So, there overtook him the same state which used to overtake him, (when he used to have, on being inspired divinely). He was sweating so much so that the drops of the sweat were dropping like pearls though it was a (cold) wintry day. When that state of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was over, he was smiling and the first word he said,Aisha! Thank Allah, for Allah has declared your innocence.' My mother told me to go to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) . I replied, 'By Allah I will not go to him and will not thank but Allah.' So Allah revealed: "Verily! They who spread the slander are a gang among you . . ." (24.11)

This revelation part confuses me alot...

I’m an adult gay man from a conservative Muslim family. My mum found me crying and in a moment of weakness I confessed that I was gay. Mum then told my dad against my wishes, and this was our latest conversation.

I’m posting here because I need support from people who understand religious shame, family pressure, and what it is like when love becomes conditional. I’m not looking for a theological debate or for anyone to insult my family. I just feel devastated and confused...and so hurt, so abandoned.

I've had to listen to hours of monologue. It's been torture.

I transcribed my latest conversation with my father using AI and I wanted to share it.

I know he probably believes he is doing the right thing. But I cannot understand how someone can call it love while telling their child they are required by God to hurt, exile and abandon them.

I wish there was a way to keep them in my life but it's futile and I'm exhausted.

I feel like I am grieving my family while they are still alive. I also feel scared of the financial pressure and of being cut off from everyone. Has anyone been through something similar? How did you stop feeling like you had to keep defending yourself or trying to earn back conditional love?

My heart is broken.

----

Full conversation..

Father:

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So, just continuing from what we were talking about the other day... going back to the Quran.

That verse I sent you—you told me, “I know it. I’ve read it.”

It says, “And the two among you who commit it, harm them.” Meaning the men who commit this—“harm them.”

Some translations use the word “punish them.” They say, “Those among you who commit it, punish them.”

And punishment can mean imprisonment, beating, or other forms of punishment. But the Arabic in the Quran says, “harm them.” It means exactly that: harm them.

So that is the instruction given to us—to the community, to me, and to the people who know you. We are supposed to harm you. And that is what I am doing. I am obeying Allah Almighty.

If you want to remain on the side of Satan, then that is up to you.

But Allah has already given you signs. He gave you signs while you lived away. I ask myself: why didn’t Allah grant you success there? You weren’t successful in anything—not just one thing, but everything. Allah was giving you signs.

Then you came here, and now Allah has given you another sign.

You came and told me yourself, even though you didn’t have to tell me. You could have simply said, “I’m moving out,” and that would have been it. I never would have known.

But now that I do know, I cannot do anything except follow the words of our Lord. I cannot do otherwise. Allah says, “harm them.”

Now, if you decide to remain the way you are, obviously I cannot beat you. In the Torah, they used to execute people for this. In early Islam, they actually threw them from high places.

But that doesn’t matter. None of that is going to happen to you. I’m just explaining the situation you are in.

For me, “harm them” means this: if you remain this way, I want nothing to do with you. Nothing at all.

I don’t want to know you.

And it isn’t only me. The entire family will want nothing to do with you. You will no longer be part of us.

If you want to leave, stay with your friends and live the life you want to live, then fine. That is your choice.

If you want a comfortable life, surrounded by love and care, that is also your choice.

But if you choose that other life, then let those people be there for you. Let Satan be there for you. Let them help you.

As for the harm that I am required to do to you—because Allah tells me to harm you—I’ve already explained what that means.

First, I cannot accept you living with us while you are like this.

So when you say, “I want to move out,” then yes, of course you have to move out. While you remain like this, you cannot stay with me.

But even after you move out, nothing changes. The situation remains the same.

You will no longer be part of the family.

You will be removed from my will.

You will be removed from the family groupchat.

You will be cut off from everyone here.

.

And my advice to you—and take note of everything I am telling you—is that if you are going to move out, then please move somewhere far away or somewhere else entirely.

Because if you stay here you are in deep shit, and all of us are in deep shit.

Please move away.

Because if you stay here, whenever we have a family occasion, you simply won’t be invited.

The family and and the others will start asking questions:

“Where’s Uncle?”

“Why isn’t Uncle here?”

And it won’t stop with them. People will start asking questions too.

Eventually—after a year, two years, I don’t know—it will come out. People will find out.

And then you’ll be setting a “good example” for them, mashallah.

The example a person should set, is one that makes the people around him proud. A person should be doing things that benefit his community and his close family.

And that is something you could easily achieve.

Whereas you are choosing to go off into your own corner.

That is your choice, baba. I am not forcing you to do anything.

But I have to inflict the harm that Allah has ordered me to inflict.

And when Allah gives you these signs—this third sign, which is actually—

Me:

I’ve had enough.

I’ll speak to you in the afterlife.

May God forgive you.

That’s all I have to say.

Father:

Wait. That’s it? We’re done?

Come here! Come here!

Son:

I’ve said what I needed to say.

Father:

What did you say?

What did you say to me?

Son:

I said I’ll speak to you in the afterlife, and may God forgive you.

That’s it.

We’ll see.

We’ll see in the afterlife.

We’ll see.

Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr, from his father, who said:

“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ sent me on a cold morning. I came to him while he was with one of his wives under his blanket, so he brought me under the blanket, and we became three.”

“This is a hadith with an authentic chain of transmission, and they [al-Bukhari and Muslim] did not transmit it.”

[Commentary — from al-Dhahabi’s Talkhis] 5564 — Authentic (sahih).

— Al-Mustadrak ‘ala al-Sahihayn, ed. al-‘Ilmiyyah, Abu ‘Abdullah al-Hakim, 3/410💀 WTF IS THIS SHIT

if your new here and this is the first of my posts your seeing, you lack a lot of context so please look for those posts first. anyways!

hello! thank you everyone for the help and love and concern. I booked a flight back home and im here right now. I heard so many horror stories from all of you (fairly so) about what might happen, how they would be angry, how they would tighten their grip on me.

first of all, im sorry to everyone who had parents who didnt treat them with love after they ran away or still refused to see eye to eye with them.

my parents had so many flaws and wronged me so many times in their life too. that's why I ran away, from out of the window. this was a gamble I took based on the tone in their voice and I just felt that I could trust them.

I was right! this has been the fastest reconcile ever. of course, some things still have to be mended. they still tell me to not talk to men, but they said as long as im muslim I dont have to be a practicing muslim like praying and wearing hijab. I spoke to them a little about what I dont agree with like hell and heaven (well to my dad not my mom) and he understands. I wont tell them im agnostic, it's fine for now.

they are booking my flight later, for Sept 8 which is 4 days after my move in time but hopefully the uni allows it. they didnt raise their voice at me out of anger since I left 2 days ago for cali and since they found out. we have been joking and talking like normal for some part.

the thing is they keep telling me to look for a uni in san Diego atleast so its closer and a road trip from my house to SD. I told them I'd think about it after the first semester is over. we talked a lot, but it overall went well.

again this went way better than I thought. I thought they would be mad but they admitted their wrongs (though very very late). i know it sucks they were super ignorant but if I didnt sneak out they wouldn't have realized what they had done so im glad I spent those 2 days In cali and ill be returning to cali soon and visiting them whenever I can.

thank you everyone for all the tips and im sorry to have gambled on the advice to not go back, but im glad i didnt take it. ill respond to questions and concerns now, sorry I didnt answer anything on my last post

Phobia is an irrational fear which you can't explain.

But my fear for Islam is not irrational and I can explain it. I don't hate them, but I fear them.

Ive already discussed this with my parents and they do not want to hear shit, instead they go on to slutshame me and my mum keeps telling me it was a committment. Fyi I put it on fully at about 8 years old. How is an 8 year old expected to make a lifelong committment?? The reason I wore it was because I saw everyone else around me wear it and I wanted to make my mum proud. Kids are impressionable, thats normal but now Im really tired of representing something Im not apart of. Especially the concept of getting hatecrimed for something i dont believe in or people automatically thinking im homophobic because of a piece of cloth over my head. Ive taken it off multiple times in public but I really cant deal with it, its so new to me and I cant rest, constantly paranoid and I feel subconsiously ashamed of myself, despite being very much against it. Its taken such a huge part of my life. I couldnt really take it anymore so I told my mum i didnt want to wear it and she would freak out, threatening to cut my hair, telling me to cover up and wear the hijab to answer the front door 🫩. Im thinking of straight up just not wearing it outside when im not with them until I get used to it, im slightly scared of getting caught but I do have somewhere I can run away to if worse comes to worst. What ive realised is these people are relentless and will never settle down or try to understand. Im literally only 16 in the UK and have to focus on my education and they know what their doing my not allowing me to get a job. What keeps me sane is the knowledge that many other girls are experiencing the same thing and Im not alone on this, I just want to know how people cope with the paranoia and fear

I think that’s the best way to use mosques, at least music spreads positivity.

Every time I try to talk about this, the immediate reaction is that ex-Muslims aren't real. People genuinely seem to believe every single person who say they are ex-muslim is actually a Hindu nationalist, a Zionist, or a fake account pushing propaganda.

​It’s impossible to have an actual conversation because it always gets brushed off with:

​"You were never actually Muslim"

​"Nobody who understands Islam leaves"

​"You're a paid troll"

​Is this just straight up cognitive dissonance because they can’t accept people leave on their own?

​What makes the idea of someone genuinely choosing to leave so impossible for them to process?

"The Black Stone descended from Paradise, and it was whiter than milk, then it was blackened by the sins of the children of Adam."- Jami` at-Tirmidhi 877, -Ibn Abbas (more on him later)

This is almost certainly a Hadith of 'Al Aswad' the riddah prophet whose nickname ironically means 'the black one'

Now sure, could this be a history of the Kaaba, sure, the issue is this unintentionally glorifies the Dhul Khalasa given that it was white.

it could also be pure coincidence to call Aswad the riddah prophet 'the black one.'

The issue is through the Khath'am tribe, Aswad was connected to the Dhul Khalasa, they were custodians of the dhul Khalasa. (alongside the Daws, Bahila, Al Azd and Midhal)

All of this smells like propaganda. Granted islamic sources say very little about the riddah prophets, which I investigate in my book, and yes this means all you can really do is speculate given the lack of information. But a lack of information is already something tbh, why were they hiding this info?

Therefore a few things, it can be read as a critique of the Quraysh 'it was blackened by the sins of the children of Adam.'- can basically be a coded critique of the Quraysh, 'they held the Kaaba they made it black, they corrupted it.'

Again this insistence on calling Aswad al Ansi 'Aswad' the black one, is curious when you realise he was at least close to a white stone, and tied to a tribe defending one. (the Khath'am)

There was actually an Iraqi scholar Al-Aswad ibn Yazid who died roughly in 693-4 CE,
Who Ibn Abbas may have been reading and may be why this Hadith even survived to begin with, because it's bizarre; it is functionally Dhul Khalasa propaganda, why have a document saying "yeah white stones are uncorrupted and purer" when there is a competitor with a white stone.

Muhammed ordered the Dhul Khalasa destroyed, he sent an expedition to destroy it, so it is incredibly bizarre to have a Hadith say "yeah white stones were better."

Worth noting a few things about the Hadith author. Ibn Abbas settled in Taif, which is not that far from Yemen and the Dhul Khalasa, but even ignoring that something a bit spicier.

One of his sources was a guy called Ka'b al-Ahbar a jewish himyarite who Ibn Abbas relied upon for historical understanding of various things, in one particular instance, Ka'ab al Ahbar said
*"*that on the Day of Judgment, the sun and the moon would be brought forth resembling two stupefied bulls and then forcefully thrown directly into Hell"

to which Ibn Abbas said:

"Ka'b is a liar! Ka'b is a liar! Ka'b is a liar!" 

So granted speculation, but Ka'ab may have subtly inserted this idea "The Black Stone descended from Paradise, and it was whiter than milk, then it was blackened by the sins of the children of Adam."
As a way to subvert the Kaaba to which Ibn Abbass simply didn't notice, hence why we have this Hadith that is seemingly inexplicable given that it gives glory to another Kaaba the Dhul Khalasa.

Granted again, we will never know 100% unless we develop time travel, but through deduction we can assume that the islamic narrative is at best flimsy, some narrative of the history of the Kaaba seems odd when you have a competitor that's white.

I cover this in my book series here https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H2FVKNXL?binding=kindle_edition&ref=dbs_dp_sirpi but this specifically is found in book 2 if anyone is interested.

When I was younger, around 7 years old, my parents started to get me into reading the Qur'an and Arabic. A teacher would come over to my house on the weekends and teach me how to read the quran (we call him a masab but I have no clue what the official word is). At the the time, being "born Muslim", I was excited because "yay I can finally learn how to be a good Muslim".

It was fine for the first year or so, albeit a little boring. However, when I moved on to the Qur’an after getting my basics down, my teacher started to become abusive. He started hitting me after getting words wrong and he started hitting me harder and harder.

He also did this one particularly bad punishment where if my reading was especially bad, he'd make me stand up from my chair and look down on the Qur'an. He would force me to look back down if I ever looked straight/straight up to ease the pain on my neck. I remember one memory which is forever burned in my brain where he held me by the ear after getting a sentence wrong. He'd then let go, but not before slapping me hard in the face and making me do the standing up punishment. After that lesson, I ran straight to mom crying saying what he did to me. The response I got back?

"Good, it'll make you learn better."

Abuse started when I was around 8 and ended around 12 years old when I had to move houses, therefore never seeing that teacher again (forgive me, I do not remember exactly what the ages are). My sister would also join in on the lessons when she was 7 years old, but she didn't receive any abuse whatsoever. At the time, I was envious of that but being 19 now, I'm so glad she didn't receive any abuse.

Further trauma would happen when I started disconnecting from Islam at around 14/15 years old. At the time, I never prayed or read the quran after learning it all to which my dad would berate me for. He'd explain "how all the angels would interrogate me and punish me in hell" and all that bs.

I started questioning the things that happened to me when I was younger.

“Why was I beaten for trying to learn the ‘words of God’?”

I fully turned athiest when I was 16 and to be honest I've never been happier but at times the trauma gets to me at times.

Forgive me for the formatting/order of things because I am on mobile. I just wanted to share my story since I got no one else to share this with other than my sister who already knows I'm athiest.

There's far more variety to ex-Muslims but there isn't any public interest (nor personal motivation) to get decent stories out there.

So hear me out

My brother (13) has recently started to become overly religious like he used to enjoy celebrating the festival of other religions but now he started saying that,"we are muslim and it isn't from our religion". Also he has started to pass comments like chores are women's responsibility and all. I am worried as time will pass it will increase with time and extremist people are worse. Does anyone know how to deal with it.