I honestly don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe nothing. Maybe I just wanted to see if he was okay. But seeing his story and he’s new picture . seeing him looking happy, seeing his new home… it completely broke something inside me.
I literally had a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe. My heart was hurting so badly, like someone had physically grabbed it and squeezed it. I just sat there staring at the screen wondering, How can someone who was such a huge part of my life suddenly look like a stranger? It’s been two months. I thought I was doing better. I’ve been praying, trying to focus on myself, trying to heal, trying to accept that our relationship is over. And then one picture brought everything rushing back.
And the weirdest part is… a part of me is genuinely happy for him. I’m happy that he has a home. I’m happy if he has found some peace. I don’t want him to suffer just because I’m suffering.
But another part of me is absolutely devastated.
I think what hurts the most isn’t even the picture itself. It’s realizing that his life is continuing without me. There are new rooms, new memories, new chapters… and I’m not there anymore.
I hate that I still care this much. I hate that two months can feel like forever and yesterday at the same time.
Maybe healing isn’t as linear as I thought.
Tonight I learned the hard way that sometimes you can be genuinely happy that someone you loved is okay… while simultaneously breaking your own heart watching them move on.
I just wish I could stop feeling everything so deeply.

I (20F) want to preface this by saying I’m not an experienced girl, I’ve been really sheltered most of my life and have had limited interactions with men so what feels heavy to my heart may not be the case with the older more experienced people reading.
My ex (23m) shot himself two months ago late June, two months after no contact and it is still in my head. It still eats me up at 2am when the external world doesn’t numb my mind, when the sleep meditation I play at night isn’t bursting into my eardrums.

I thought it was a simple case of me being too anxiously attached, him becoming avoidant and than discarding me but it is a much more complicated painting now. I had been noticing him becoming more irritable, distancing and a bit cold which sparked my anxious tendencies. One or two times it even led to silly spats sometimes which were more just fuelled by an underlying need for attention because I was the same as I’ve always been, he wasn’t, he changed. One night 2 weeks before he broke up with me he, someone who was usually calm and collected, funny and guiding, sort of lost his handle and told me he didn’t have the energy. He told me the reassurance can be a bit off putting but I didn’t understand, it wasn’t before, why would it be now? I didn’t understand and took it personally.

Then when he broke up with me it was the night after I came back from vacation. He was weird our whole interaction before bed and broke up with me over text saying he was burnt out and couldn’t go on feeling how he did or risk harming me. I honestly read it as a load of shit. He didn’t care for me, he just wanted an easy cop out is how I read it. He seemed emotionless as I picked up on friends saying he started drinking in excessive amounts yet I still felt this vitriol and pain. It completely shattered me. He cut off any lines of communication and forced NC. I heard stories of him through mutual friends of flirting, getting drunk or getting high and I felt so disgusted, as if I fooled myself. I fucked myself over thinking this man cared or had standards for himself.

A month into the NC he started orbiting our shared spaces. Days leading up to his death even he tried to get my attention multiple weird ways but at the time why would I? I knew he was entertaining women. I knew how he left me crying, shattered, broken, completely alone with a million questions.
But the day he died he posted on his socials about how tonight he will die. I contacted him right away and he responded. We finally spoke after two months of NC. He told me not to worry about him, how far he drove off to shoot himself and that the real reason in him leaving was his worsening condition (mental and physical I value his privacy and do not want to get into any diagnoses). I tried to talk more but he was insistent on not traumatizing anyone on his “way out.” I tried everything that I could but my efforts failed and went to shit because he died.

I noticed weird sort of suicidal framing posts on his socials a few days before he died but he was drunk posting them and has that sardonic/dark sense of humour and I was still upset for being treated as such. I wish I didn’t ignore his strange attempts of contact. I wish I intervened when I saw the first texts even if it turned out to be a joke. Better safe than sorry.

When his note came out and it had said he thought about it for months I felt absolutely shattered and broken. MONTHS. He knew what he was doing when he left me. I focused on my extreme low self esteem narrative instead of thinking it was him. I regret this so much.

I miss him so much. Please for anyone going through no contact, any thoughts or struggles or beliefs you have that they may be suffering, take the action. No matter the cost, no matter your dignity. I don’t know how to process this. If soulmates existed I feel like I lost mine. I could only hope he loved me. I wish I knew. I will never know for sure. I think with the information he left me it can be safe to assume but your dignity isn’t worth losing someone you love or yourself don’t listen to these “coaches” or “friends” who want to play the game with people and are convinced people are playing the game with you 10 times out of 10. I don’t know how I’ll like again.

My boyfriend broke up with me and blocked me everywhere a month ago, after I begged him not to end our relationship. Since then, my life has been kind of really sad. I haven’t been able to eat properly, sleep properly, or function normally at work. My room has become an anxiety-inducing place because of all the memories.
I can’t fully enjoy the moments I spend with my family or friends without him somehow crossing my mind. Today was my birthday, and everyone really went out of their way to make sure I had a good time. I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone that they’re worried about me.
My birthday wish was for him to come back to me. It was the only thing I did in the hope of bringing him back into my life. I don’t usually believe in things like that, but it brought some comfort to my soul.
For the last time, I put fresh sheets on my bed while thinking that maybe he would come over that day. For the last time, I wore a cute outfit while wondering if he would like it. And for the last time, I planned my day hoping that he might suddenly show up or send me a message.
The past few weeks have been about nothing but every part of me wishing for him to come back to me. But I think it’s time to let go of this illusion and start living my life without him.
I hope he’s doing well, and despite all the pain I feel, I truly wish for him to have everything he wants in life and to be happy, even without me.

And I didn’t care about anything except for her. I don’t miss making out or anything like that the most, what I do miss is just holding her hand and experiencing the good together. I hate how fake it all feels today. I don’t wanna go through relationships “acting” or “being fake” because I want to experience the real thing. I hate walking out in public and seeing these couples who look so happy, because it always makes me think back to me and her and what we had. I’m trying to build myself up to be the man that my future wife needs someday, but I keep thinking to myself “what if she’s not doing the same? What if by the time I’m ready, and I become the person I’m meant to be, she’s not, and she’s cold, harsh, fake, and treats me bad?” I’m scared that someday, if I get married, it’ll end, and if I try to fight to make things work, she’ll walk away like she never cared and just let everything blow up and be selfish.

Trying to get people to share some positivity and support, when we're all going through tough times.

Personally I'm coming up to 60 days since breakup and 30 days since they went no-contact (the no contact being the point that it actually hit me as we had the "still friends" denial phase after the initial breakup). Since the start of this period, I've found that everything normal and "fun" just felt completely empty. I went to the gym, I hung out with friends, I spent time with my family - but I felt numb in every moment, and couldn't feel any happiness.

Well today, after getting an enourmous mental load off my shoulders regarding my ex that had been plaguing me since no-contact, I had dinner with my family (20m uni student at home for summer) and relaxed with them watching TV. And you know what happened? I enjoyed the taste of the food, I enjoyed the company, and I laughed and smiled again without forcing it. This reminded me that although grief is a visceral, soul-tearing process, time will heal you.

For anyone in the first couple of weeks of their breakup, please grieve and cry your soul out, as this is a necessary step. But try to do the "happy" productive things too (self improvement, socialising, excercise etc) ESPECIALLY when you find it difficult to feel anything other than numbness doing so. It might feel like you'll never feel joy again in the ordinary things, but trust me, you will, if you just let time do its thing.

Hi everyone, I really need an honest reality check and some support because the guilt and anxiety are crushing me.

My ex and I decided on a one-year break because we were fighting a lot lately. During the first month, No Contact was extremely hard for me, so he blocked me to help enforce it. He promised he would contact me in the future after a year, and asked me not to make fake accounts, follow him, or text him.
A week later, I had a severe panic attack and felt an overwhelming need to talk to him. I completely lost control:
- I tried to reach him on multiple platforms.
- I created new accounts to beg him to talk.
- I messaged his friend out of desperation.

He ended up blocking me on literally every single platform. I know I crossed his strict boundaries and went way too far. It’s been a week and the guilt is immense, and I am terrified that I destroyed the trust completely.

I am now leaving him in absolute, total peace for the rest of the year. But my anxious brain won't stop asking: Did I completely ruin everything by ignoring his explicit request? Is there any chance that a year of absolute silence can repair this damage and he might still reach out, or did I permanently destroy our future?

Pata hai aaj kya hua,

I'm thinking about texting my ex. We haven't talked in like 2

3 years, so I'm kinda wondering if I should text her or just leave it

Why do some partners do everything with other people that you never got to do with them? For instance, my ex has done couples costumes, gone to an amusement park, haunted houses, and cooks with his new partners (every time we broken up he immediately finds a new person). I’ve always wanted to those things with him and more, but we usually ended up watching movies in his room, or sex 💀. I gave this person so many chances, and I see him around frequently. Is it all just to get under my skin?

Back track 6 months ago I broke up with my ex we were in love with eachother but we fought and that drove us apart. 6 months later we are in the same town and he asked me to go out to get coffee and I did because I haven’t seen him in awhile. Right after that he texted me once I got home and asked if I wanted to get sushi. Keep in mind he paid for my coffee didn’t engage in anything sexual just very overall nice and polite. But I’m confused. What is he doing. What is he planning. Should I ask him after our sushi “date” is he just stringing me along? Idk I’m confused. I still love him and I know he still loves me. I just don’t know.

How do i let go and move on from someone that I love very deeply and miss so much even though they hurt me numerous times and want nothing to do with me?

The first few weeks of no-contact were HELL for me. All the bad things you can imagine. But I started to get a little better by the 25 day mark, as my pieces of grief got processed one by one and I slowly recovered a little.

However, the last 10 days we both mutually "half-broke" no contact to deal with financial loose ends and life admin. I was still in relationship autopilot and showed some emotion and friendliness in my initial texts, but instantly I realised that all I'd get from him were cold, emotionless responses during this loose ends process. Don't get me wrong, I understand why he needs to separate himself from any feelings he used to have, but it's still hard to go from being the most intimate couple to suddenly just cold emptiness.

Despite the corporate-speak nature of his sporadic texts over the last 10 days, I still got an alarming dopamine rush from the prospect of ANY communication with him. To the point where this has put my denial brain back into full force, even though I KNOW he won't be coming back.

My brain has seemed to be enjoying getting its addictive drug back, even in this shallow, horrifyingly mutated form. But now we've tied up the finances, and I'm faced with the reality of going back to no-contact. For... well we may as well assume forever to prepare for the worst.

As I face these coming days, I cant help but feel an intense sense of dread and fear, for the fact that my false security is gone again. I made progress over the initial no-contact phase, but now I fear I am going back to square one. I am terrified to feel the way I felt at the start again, as I know how horrible that period was.

Anyone able to offer reassurance and guidance? I just wanna tell myself that it wont be quite as bad as the initial grieving stage.

The last time she communicated with me, it was to tell me that she would never talk to me or see me again no matter what happened and even if we were the last people on earth.fast forward 6 months, I sent her a message when it was a year since we officially broke up and she responded with a Pic of her being embraced by her new man.

After all of that and even 15 new bodies, im still filled with sadness about the situation. Ive never felt so strongly about someone in the past and its taking longer than I thought for me to move on myself.

Sometimes I want to run away, sometimes I want to just end it. I wish I could just forget this person. I hope it happens soon I cant keep feeling like this over someone who doesn't give a clap about me

it was kind of on and off contact, but we hadnt seen eachother in person. he told me hes completely moved on and how he realised how toxic we were. HOW DO I GET HIM BACK? and no trust me i do not need advice on how i should move on bc trust me ive tried and iv3 been going to therapy and its not working and i tbink any advjce relevant to getting him back would be really helpful also we are eachothers first everything

My ex and I broke up 4months ago, and during our last phone call I was crying and begging him while he repeatedly told me to please leave him alone. He said he didn’t want to be mean, but that me calling and texting him wasn’t healthy and that he wanted to heal and move on.

So I respected his wishes. I completely stopped contacting him and have been trying to move on.
Since then, he has contacted me twice. First, he messaged saying he had posted some of my belongings and asked me to let him know when they arrived. I didn’t respond.

Now he’s messaged me again with a photo of a membership letter addressed to me that arrived at his place (where I lived with him before the breakup)

I understand these are practical reasons to contact me, but I’m confused. He was the one who strongly wanted me to leave him alone, and now that I’ve actually stopped contacting him, he keeps initiating contact with me.

Why would someone do this after being so adamant about wanting no contact? Is he simply being considerate by forwarding important information, or could he be using practical things as an excuse to keep some form of contact?

Should I continue ignoring him and maintaining no contact, or should I tell him directly that I don’t want him contacting me anymore?

It has been 2.5 years of no contact with my ex. For context, we were also together for 2.5 years and I moved coast to coast to be with her. I was convinced she was the love of my life but when we moved in together we started experiencing problems in communication and other barriers. She ultimately wanted to breakup and rather than fighting her like I had been for so long I gave in and moved away. I think about her everyday and miss being with her so much. The pain still feels fresh years later and I’m very much in love with her. I have been praying for some kind of miracle, that we will reconnect, we will learn from our mistakes, and build a new relationship. But that seems like such a long shot now. Does this pain ever get better?

Ahhhhh life feels so bad lately how I suppose to move on from her I really really love her she don't even miss me ig she never text me I texted her today to show my Instagram story and she showed me a picture of her with another guy his hand was on her shoulder I just can't get it out of my mind what to do

We went on four dates. I (M34) thought we connected so well. I felt so at ease next to her (38), it's like I just felt like I was with someone who I would be so happy to be a part of my life. The "dates" felt more like hang outs though, so after the fourth "date" I told her I wanted to keep things romantic, and she told me she wasn't in a place to date and wanted to remain friends. Of course I accepted that and we just parted ways with a friendly hug, and that was that. And now it's been a month, with no connect whatsoever. Sure, she likes my stories, but that isn't communication and overall doesn't mean anything. Sure I get a hit of dopamine seeing that she still "sees" me, but it honestly still hurts that that is all I will get.

I keep telling myself to "grow up" and "move on", but the feelings are still there and I just cannot stop thinking of her, no matter how much of a "grown ass adult" I may be. Every cool thing I see I want to tell her about, every cool place I go I just think about how much I would want to take her there. I hate how now I am playing this whole nonchalant no-contact game, even though I don't want to. It's so freaking immature and petty and I hate it. Though whenever I tell myself to just "grow up" and "reach out" to her, there is just this overwhelming voice in my head that's like "lol you only met four times, she doesn't like you dude, she's probably already seeing someone else. Just move on". If I reached out and asked her to hang out, she would likely say yes, but what would I even be doing there?

It's funny, because at first I was like ehhh we'll see wear this goes, but hey we could be good friends maybe. After seeing her for the third time I totally fell for her though. I just wonder though what I would even tell her. When we last saw each other after hanging out for the day, we walked to my car ready to part ways, and it was just just going to be a casual friendly "ok cool, well it was nice seeing you, yeah see you around! Bye!" but I "manned up" and was just like "so do you want to make next time an actual date? No pressure of course, we don't have to." And she smiled but looked kinda caught off guard like she didn't know how to respond, but yeah she was like I just don't know if I'm really in a place to date right now, because I'm so busy, but I still want to be friends with you. And so I said totally fine, we hugged and parted ways. I want to tell her how I feel, but I feel like what else is there to even say to her? And so I just stay distant...

And so that's what we do, and it's just back to the apps...

hi! i’ve been looking at this forum recently and wanted an honest perspective about what i’ve been going through.

i was seeing this guy last year september up until april of this year, we ended up stop talking because he got caught cheating and decided to be with the person he was caught with. i confronted the girl and she acted like she cared and that he was weird but decided to stick by him. after that i didn’t pay attention to what either of them had going on, i blocked her on everything and before i could even block him he ended up blocking me on everything when i didn’t even do anything wrong.

since april and onwards he has been unblocking me, watching my stories, watching from a fake account, i don’t know if his friend has anything to do with this but his own friend that he hangs with will like my pictures and story posts.

and as of recently i was unblocked for two weeks straight on tiktok (im gonna assume because it was his birthday?) and he was watching my tiktok stories within minutes and i mean literal minutes.

for me it’s super weird? for one, you were the one who ended things and ultimately thought this new girl was the better choice and ended up being together but for what? if you were happy and that was the right decision why are you constantly watching my story? why did you create a fake page to stalk my instagram? my sister and friends tell me that clearly the relationship isn’t what they’re making it out to be and he could me unblocking and watching me everytime they are into it or him wanting to break no contact and speak. what is ur take from what im going through.

Im f18 and my ex is m18. we were together for three years and brokeup last april.
Im not going to get into what exactly happened between us but it was REALLY bad towards the end of our relationship and ended with him blocking me on everything to ignore/forget about what he did to me. I finally realized he isnt the same boy i first fell in love with, so I took five ish months to focus on myself for once. After a while I found my now girlfriend, then i posted her on my insta to show her off ofc. about two or three days later my ex messages me saying I was right the whole time and he blocked me to ignore the guilt but it haunts him every night. He keeps telling me that he doesn't know who he is anymore, and he needs my help to find himself again without substances. I dont think its fair for me to have to comfort him during his hard times, because when i was having bad thoughts again he blocked me on everything for reaching out to him. obviously this whole thing makes my woman upset too and my woman comes first but im scared he will try something on his life if he doesnt have me to talk to. We went through a lot of shit together and idk if i could live with myself if anything happened to him. but i also dont want him to ruin my new relationship. i feel very stuck, advice is much appreciated 🙏🙏

Im f18 and my ex is m18. we were together for three years and brokeup last april.
Im not going to get into what exactly happened between us but it was REALLY bad towards the end of our relationship and ended with him blocking me on everything to ignore/forget about what he did to me. I finally realized he isnt the same boy i first fell in love with, so I took five ish months to focus on myself for once. After a while I found my now girlfriend, then i posted her on my insta to show her off ofc. about two or three days later my ex messages me saying I was right the whole time and he blocked me to ignore the guilt but it haunts him every night. He keeps telling me that he doesn't know who he is anymore, and he needs my help to find himself again without substances. I dont think its fair for me to have to comfort him during his hard times, because when i was having bad thoughts again he blocked me on everything for reaching out to him. obviously this whole thing makes my woman upset too and my woman comes first but im scared he will try something on his life if he doesnt have me to talk to. We went through a lot of shit together and idk if i could live with myself if anything happened to him. but i also dont want him to ruin my new relationship. i feel very stuck, advice is much appreciated 🙏🙏

I was dating a guy for 4-5 months ( Ldr), but his bestfriend was cheating on his gf, so I told my bf to tell her bout the cheating, but he did not, so I broke up with him. After break up he ended his friendship with that guy as well, I kinda miss him SM, but Idk if I should give it another shot or move on, I'm a bit skeptical because he follows bunch or random ass girls on his both insta handle and have bunch of ppl on his snaps as well. What should I do?

My ex (21F) and I (23M) were together for almost 5 months. I know that isn’t an incredibly long relationship, but it was very intense and meaningful to both of us (I hope). I was her first boyfriend, her first serious relationship, and her first sexual partner.

We both started dating eachother with the intention of pursuing a serious lifelong relationship, culminating in marriage and children.

The difficult part is that our relationship was genuinely really good when we were physically together. We didn’t have cheating, toxicity, constant fighting, or anything like that. We were extremely affectionate, went on dates constantly, talked about our future, marriage eventually, traveling together, etc... She told me I was her "Prince Charming".

Unfortunately, political circumstances required her to leave the US to go back to our country (She was an international student, while I am a dual citizen of both the US and our country.)

Her entire life changed at basically the same time. She lost the future she thought she was going to have here, had to restart college in another major, and her dream career that was she was pursuing was practically over. She was extremely emotional about all of this, and struggled heavily over it. We had many talks about it when she was here, and also when she was in our country.

Our relationship basically nosedived within about 5 weeks of her leaving.

She told me that she loved me and loved our relationship, but that long distance had changed everything and was “killing her.” Again, I also didn't want our relationship to "kill her". She even said that if we were still physically together, things would probably be completely different.

I wanted to keep trying. I was planning a trip to see her, and long-term I had told her I was willing to compromise on where we lived so she could pursue her dream. I told her that if her career eventually took her to somewhere like New York, I would be willing to build my future around that too. I would be willing to help support those dreams financially also. So if she needed ant further courses, education, etc... I'd be more than willing to help her. I'm on the verge of a landing a great salary, so I'd have the financial means doing so comfortably. When she felt hopeless about her career, I was always the person telling her not to give up and that we would find a way.

During the breakup I told her that I wanted to stay, but I wasn’t going to beg someone to choose me. I also told her that my conscience was clear because I genuinely felt I had done everything I could for the relationship.

I didn’t cry or beg during the breakup. I stayed pretty composed, although since then I’ve cried harder than I have in years.

She wanted to maintain contact afterward, but I told her I couldn’t do that. I explained that no contact wasn’t punishment. I needed it to protect myself because I still loved her and couldn’t immediately pretend to be her friend while still being madly in love with her.

Today is now day 5 of no contact.

I am doubting everything I did during the breakup and right before. Everything comes and goes in waves. Sometimes I am bawling my eyes out (full ugly crying), other times I am despondent in bed, and sometimes I am even angry.

Does it ever get better? I feel like I lost the love of my love. Rationally, I know that that isn't so, but still I feel like my life is ending.

My family and friends think she may have already been leaning toward breaking up and was trying to find reasons/excuses for it. I don’t know if I agree completely because I genuinely believe the enormous upheaval in her life and the long distance affected her badly. I have a lot of compassion for what she was going through. But maybe it's true! there are some things that made me think that its possible.

I still love her. I still miss her like crazy. Part of me desperately hopes she eventually regrets ending things and comes back wanting to really try again

So I guess my questions are:

Did I handle the breakup/no contact reasonably?

Does this sound like a relationship that genuinely collapsed because of circumstances, or does it sound like she was already checking out?

And if someone came back after a breakup like this, would you personally consider giving them a second chance?

I’d especially appreciate perspectives from people who have been on either side of a breakup where you still loved each other but long distance/life circumstances became too much.

Thank you everyone.