I’m going to make it really simple. We’ve been dating for 6 months now. He opened up to me two days ago about how he used to be into men and how he’s not like that anymore.

He told me I deserved to know the person he used to be and that he’s changed so I don’t have to worry. He would go back and forth kind of oddly. Saying “Just please keep this between us I don’t want anyone to know that I used to be gay” and then would immediately counter with “Well not used to be gay I never was but you know what i mean”. He did this multiple times. I didn’t know what he meant, i still fucking don’t, but I can’t help but feel like i’m being completely fucking played and I feel like an idiot.

If I was to explain it the best possible way, it was literally like he was talking out loud, but to himself, and trying to convince himself. I even asked him if he’s trying to convince me or himself, and he kind of chuckled and didn’t answer. Idk what to do and i’m genuinely fucking lost. If he was bisexual it wouldn’t be a problem but the only word that came out of his mouth was “gay”. What did i get myself into, and should i try looking past this like he tells me I need to???

TL;DR Boyfriend told me he used to be gay and isn’t anymore.

We’ve been together for 8 months and I really love him, but I get anxious pretty easily. Sometimes when he replies short or takes a while to text back I start overthinking and ask if everything is okay between us. He says it makes him feel like I don’t trust him and that it’s exhausting. I don’t mean to be needy, I just get scared something is wrong. I’m 19 and this is my first serious relationship so I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if this is normal. I don’t want to push him away but I also don’t want to keep feeling this anxious. Am I the problem here?
Tl/dr: I don’t know if I’m being too much, this is my first serious relationship

we have been dating for over 5 months now, and had pined over each other for 4 months before that. i’ve known him for nearly 4 years.

i just don’t know what to do. i’m completely heartbroken. we do really love each other, we have had no big problems in our relationship—the only thing i can think of is that this is his first serious/long term relationship, while it is my third. but i love him more than i’ve ever loved anybody.

i know that we are both very young, but it’s not wrong to just want a chance of things working out, right? he and parent 1 think that he will not be able to focus on college and will not be able to handle a serious relationship, along with his want to discover himself and grow and change, because he doesn’t feel like an adult yet. he doesn’t want anything holding him back. that concept breaks my heart even more. the idea that it’s not possible to grow and change together, or to at least try. the idea that it would be impossible to figure out a good compromise on keeping a relationship bothers me as well. on some level, i agree! keeping a full fledged relationship in school could be hard, but there are solutions to that, there are ways to make it work! 🙁 parent 2 would be supportive of us continuing to date, they do not have any strong feelings on the matter.

we have both agreed that we love each other so much that we want to be best friends until the day that we die, even if we stop dating. we have also agreed to work together professionally in the future (we are both artists, and look up to each other). and of course, i would be honored to have him as my best friend. i truly love him, completely, and if—or when—the time would come to actually break up, i would reshape that love into being the best friend ever. but i just feel like if we miss this chance, we might never get it again. i just want a chance to try.

right now, i can’t talk to him very much about it. we had several, very long text conversations about it for a few days, but he and parent 1 agreed that he is spending too much time thinking about the relationship and my reaction to his decision instead of thinking about college. it is fair, and i understand the need to put college first for now. but my heart feels so terribly heavy, and every morning i wake up and my heart beats uncontrollably fast just thinking about things ending next summer.

i was thinking about trying again to persuade him to just give our relationship a chance in college on our 1 year anniversary in the spring, or perhaps in the summer, maybe july. the month before college starts. i would do anything for him, and not in the silly, lovesick way—i have been working very, very hard to improve myself and my mental health in tangible ways since we started dating, because i know it is important to him, and in turn, it is important to me. it will continue being important to me even if/when we stop dating. i make an effort to bond with his family, because they are genuinely important to me, and i care about them. i am always there for him, and i have helped and supported him with his own mental health and self esteem. i support his art (which, of course i do. he is one of my favorite artists, ever) and we work incredibly well together on any kind of project, art, design, architecture, engineering—we have made incredible work together. we get along so well, and we can both be silly, childish, even very intimate together without getting embarrassed or feeling shame. i know that we could figure something out, we are both fairly intelligent and mature for our age. i just want to try to date in college, and i would be fine with it if we tried and it didn’t work out, the problem is that he doesn’t even want to try!!! 🙁

should i try again to convince him once about a year has passed, and it is time to go our separate ways? shоuld i try to convince him before then? shоuld i do anything at all? i don’t think my feelings are invalid, but is my reaction unwarranted? is there any way to soothe the terrible heartache that i am going through? 

(i don't mean this as asking for some kind of objective moral input, i just. i don’t know, i do not know what to do 🙁) 

honestly, any kind of advice would be incredibly appreciated, i just feel so lost and sad.

i am also seeing a therapist for a consultation today, which think will help me greatly. and of course, if she is the right fit, i would talk to her about this as well. i just feel like im going to implode with the waves of intense feelings that come over me every day. thank you for reading this super long post 🥲

TL;DR, my boyfriend of 5 months and friend of almost 4 years, and one of his parents, wants us to stop dating when college starts next year. their reasons are that they don’t think he can handle having a serious relationship while also working on college stuff, and he doesn’t want any ties to his childhood and wants to reinvent himself and become more adult, without anything holding him back. the idea that we could stop dating one day isn’t what bothers me, what bothers me is that he doesn’t even want to try to keep dating in college, and i truly think that we could miss out on something really great if we end it just like that. we both care about and love each other very much, and other than this, have an incredibly happy and supportive relationship. we are currently still dating.

I apologize beforehand if there's any mispelling or grammar mistake, english is not my first language.

I (21F) been in a relationship with my boyfriend (20M) for almost 3 years. Even as teenagers, we were really mature in terms of conflict, and we handled arguments camly, we talked about our feelings and made a lot of effort to understand our needs. I have always felt like I was the anchor in those conversations, and I was always trying to calm him down if he got a little bit too angry or if he wanted to go home in the middle of the argument. I have always been clear on my limits and things I didn't like (for example: leaving in the middle of an argument, yelling) and he did change those things! But for the past year, he's been staying at my house 4 of 7 days a week (I still live with my mother, and she's cool with him coming over) so he started bringing a lot of his clothes to my place for convenience and comfort, I was ok with it so i gave him a space in my closet, the problem now is that he doesn't fold his clothes and leaves a mess in that little space, and I don't like it. I told him about it, he apologized and he promised to change. That happened like 20 more times before i told him to never bring his clothes again because he keeps making a mess and apologizing and doing it again. He accepted it, but weeks passed and I felt bad and I gave him another chance because this time he promised he was going to change it. Nonetheless, he didn't. He keeps doing it over and over again even though i tell him it bothers me.

Another situation that happened recently is that my birthday was coming up, and this entire year I complained about how my mother kept gifting me pajamas in every ocasion even though i told her multiple times I didn't need or want them anymore. I explained to him that even after telling her it bothers me, she kept doing it, which i found really disrespectful (I mean, imagine gifting someone something that they specifically told you they didn't want!) I also told him it was a complicated situation because it made me feel selfish and ungrateful cause at the end of the day, i was feeling sad over a gift. He completely understood me and agreed that it was so disrespectful of her to do. Anyways, time passes and my birthday comes up, I remember telling him multiples times that week before that I was worried about my mother gifting me another pajama, he reassured me telling me that she probably understood by now. Clock hits 12am, and he wishes me a happy birthday, tells me to close my eyes and brings me my gift.... A pajama... He gifted me a pajama. He knew about how I felt. He knew it bothered me. I recieved it with a fake smile, and the morning after I told him how I truly felt. He told me he didn't want to gift me the pajama specifically, but the robe that came with it (it was a pajama set) but because he'd already bought it, gave it to me anyway.

I don't know how to feel about this. He tells me that there's no harm in the things he does, it's just he doesn't realize that what's he's doing hurts me. He says he wants to change, that he's trying, and when he says that, I feel bad and that I'm being to harsh on him. I'm conflicted if to believe that my frustation is valid, or if maybe I'm too alone in life and bored and I find anything just to get angry at him.

EDIT: I don't want to sound like the kind of girl who complains and then doesn't want to hear people telling her to kick his ass. I'm open to hear everyone and their opinions!! I want help! but I think it's also worth mention that he is supportive of me overall, with the poor and toxic relationship with my parents, he's next to me when I'm struggling and anxious, buys me crazy gifts, and have a good time with him. But these issues are starting to happen more often.

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**TL;DR;** : My boyfriend had promised to change, but keeps doing the things I told him I don't like. Should I be patient with him because he's trying?

Today I took off work because I am sick. He is usually here every day after work. But today he decided to go do a job for one of his friends after work. He never sent me a text or even asked me when we talked on the phone if I needed anything, he just announced at the end of work he wasn’t coming over today. This is the first day I have ever been this sick since we met or took off work. He never asked me once today how I was feeling or if I needed anything. He told me yesterday he could do that job for his friends whenever he wanted and it didn’t have to be today. Yesterday when I first was getting sick he said he was going to come over and make me dinner but instead got ingredients to make the same dinner I make several times a week and then proceeded to watch me cook it. Then today when I woke up sicker, nothing from him.

TL;DR: bf offered to make dinner yesterday but got me ingredients for me to cook dinner then today when I am sicker and took off work, he never asked how I am or if I need anything, just called to tell me I won’t see him today.

My three friends, whom all seemed to be in happy relationships in January, are now single.

Friend 1 (26f) split with bf (26m) of 8 years after he came to her saying he would like a break from the relationship. Essentially, he felt it had grown stale and, as he’d never been with another woman, was curious with what else was out there. He ended things. A few months later he reached out to her whilst going through some heavy depression, and wanted her back. She didn’t take him back.

Friend 2 (23f) split with long-distance bf (24m) of 4 years after he said he wanted to go travelling. She told him he was welcome to go but she herself didn’t fancy it. He decided he wanted to enjoy being single whilst travelling, so he ended things. He got back 4 months later and asked for her back, she refused.

Friend 3 (25m) split with bf (30m) of 2 years. In this instance, it was my friend who ended it because he ‘wasn’t sure he loved him’. My friend has not said he wants to get back with his ex, but he has drunk called him whilst upset, and I know he at least thinks about if they would ever get back together.

tl;dr - lots of strong relationships seem to get broken because of a fear of missing out. Is this true and if so why? Or are many relationships just not as strong as they seem? What’s going on?

My boyfriend (27M) and I (22F) have been together for four years, long distance for the past year.

When we met, I was in college and he already had his own business. He was charming, ambitious, adventurous, and traveled frequently for work. I’m similar in temperament, so we felt like a good match and talked about building our lives around travel and our careers.

There were some red flags early on. He could be very jealous and clingy when I traveled or worked with men, although this improved considerably after we talked about it.

He also used to tickle me despite knowing that it was connected to a serious trauma from my past. I explained why it was such a sensitive issue, but it took several months and a very bad reaction from me before he fully stopped. There were other physical boundaries I didn't know how to enforce when I was younger.

Recently, something happened that I can't seem to move past.

After we'd been apart for several months, we were intimate and he tried to put nicotine in my mouth. I told him no several times and tried to stop him, but he did it anyway and laughed. I ended up crying afterward.

The substance itself isn't really the issue. What bothers me is that I clearly said no and tried to stop him, and he continued anyway. He apologized afterward and has been gentle since, but something changed for me. I now have trouble fully relaxing during intimacy, even when I want to be close to him.

There are smaller things that have also started bothering me. He gets upset when I don't send him photos, dismissed my concerns about walking alone at night as a woman, and laughed when I told him about unwanted attention I've received from other people.

I've also noticed that I've lost a lot of my physical attraction toward him. He's changed physically since we got together, while I've stayed relatively similar. He also recently moved from his previous career into blue-collar work. I don't look down on that kind of work, but part of me feels like he's moved away from the ambitious person I originally fell in love with.

Recently he told me he can't wait for me to become successful so I can start paying for everything. That really hurt, especially because I'm a broke recent arts graduate and already feel guilty that I can't contribute much financially right now.

He's currently looking for work in my city, so there's a possibility we'll soon be living in the same place. Instead of feeling excited about that, I'm realizing I'm not sure I actually want it.

I love him, and four years is a long time to share with someone. At the same time, I'm questioning whether we're actually compatible long-term. I'm also scared of being alone in a new city, struggling financially, and trying to build the life I've dreamed about without him.

How would you approach this situation? Am I focusing too much on individual problems? Am I self sabotaging by focusing on the bad?

TLDR: My boyfriend had trouble listening to my boundaries and while have gotten better since, he crossed it the other month and I haven’t been able to move past it.

IMPORTANT EDIT: the age is a typo!!! We're both 28, so sorry for the confusion 🫪

Sorry, this is super long, but I need to talk about it somewhere.

What if you're with someone that can be really great, your family loves him and he does try to be supportive... But it's just not it? We had a great relationship before moving in together, had fun and resolved any issue with calm conversations. We were together for a little over a year when we moved in to an apartment about a year ago, and everything changed.

We smoked weed together just a few times and it was fun, but he never told me that weed was his way of relaxing and dealing with stress. He'd smoke 3-4 times a week, sometimes more than once a day. I don't like living with the smell and I don't like feeling like the sober one at the party when I get home. He said he'd stop and it got better, but he still uses it as a tool to help him sleep, instead of just a fun thing to do sometimes. I'm an immigrant here, I told him before moving in that I would have a really hard time finding another appartement and I asked questions, but he said he had nothing specific to talk about before doing this. Turns out he just assumed he'd have control and it wouldn't be a problem, but that means I couldn't make an informed decision to risk it or wait. It's better, then worse, then better, then worse... So I can't rebuild my trust because he keeps breaking it.

He cooks even more than I do, which I'm very thankful for, but it's clear he still feels like he's "helping". I feel so spoiled for complaining because I know that many men simply don't do anything at home and I love that I can't say the same about him. But then he adopted a dog on the best possible time for him (he still had a week of vacation), but at the worst time for me because I had one last week to write my master's thesis. I wasn't available for dog training sessions and didn't want to think about it before my deadline, so he mentioned the fact that he cooks, and this is all that he's asking of me. I felt like I didn't have the right to be stressed and put my work first even though I always avoided working at home as much as possible. I just needed one week of focus on my degree.

He agrees that we shouldn't have kids right now, agrees that women shouldn't be the only ones responsible for contraception, but then forgets to bring condoms every time we have a short trip during the weekend. And has the gall to make a joke about it all being on me. I still tap him on the shoulder during sex to remind him to put it on.

He forgot to give me a Christmas gift, even though I learned to knit just to give him fingerless gloves that he needed for work. I had to have multiple conversations with him about it, saying that it was hurtful, until he finally got me something. My birthday was last week. He forgot until the morning of, got me a cheap bamboo fan and a mug as a present and bought frozen cheesecake (his favorite). I don't have a lot of money, but I always put so much effort into what I give him and find ways to get something I'm sure he'll like and use, and he used to do the same.

He never tells me he loves me, he says he's always had a hard time saying that to anyone and talking about his emotions. When we have a problem now, I explain what I'm feeling and he stays silent or says very little. Talking things over feels like a monologue.

He has so many wonderful qualities, he can be supportive in so many other ways, takes care of me when I'm sick or tired, takes my feelings seriously, and can be so thoughtful. But all of these little things are wearing me down. This was the healthiest relationship I had so far, up until moving in.

I know other women have so many other, more difficult problems to deal with. But is this really it? Is this all I should be expecting from a partner? Should I have to ask for him to say he loves me, to give me a gift, to care about contraception?

I think I rationally know the answer, I just do really love his company and I don't want to leave. But I also don't want to stay like this. I like being with someone and for now it's tolerable, but if we ever got married, I can already see this getting worse and us getting divorced. Is it worth it to get therapy for a two and a half year long relationship or is this already a sign to get out before it gets too bad? Maybe these are all normal things, that come with moving in and adapting to another person.

TL;DR : two and a half year relationship. Everything was going really well until we moved in together a year ago. He does so many things that I love, but certain things bother me a lot. Are my expectations too high or is this really not ok for a long-term relationship?

I (29F) always feel like my husband (29M) is shooting down my ideas when I get excited about something. This evening, I developed a new training plan for an upcoming half marathon, and spent an hour on my first workout. I got home and told him all about it. He responded by telling me what I could be doing better, and saying that my plan isn't optimal.

I immediately felt disheartened. I told him I didn't appreciate him immediately criticizing something I'm excited about, and please only give unsolicited advice if you're truly concerned about me, not just to pick out things that are imperfect.

This sort of thing has been a pattern. I also love playing music, I've been working on coding, and I do other random projects from time to time. His first response always seems to be criticism. Or, especially with music, that I'm being too loud.

I've brought this up many times, and he doesn't seem to get it. Today, I asked him if he can try to brainstorm ways to respond more supportively. He said "he won't commit to anything right now," because this is all brand-new to him.

I feel uncared for and put down, and I explained this to him as well. What do I do in this situation? Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

TL;DR: My husband criticizes my ideas and projects. I've brought it up many times and he hasn't changed. What do I do?

My M/26 boyfriend and I F/26 have been in a relationship for four months now. For context he’s German and I’m Latin American and we both live in Germany (This info will help later)

He got a new job recently and went on a work trip for three days. During these three days he sent me 5 messages with basically no real communication besides hope you have a good day and one voice message at 12:20 am one day saying that “he was working a lot and spending time with his coworkers having fun”. I told him the first day of this trip that I wasn’t feeling well and was going to the doctor the next day, 3 days passed and he didn’t ask anything about my wellbeing while I spent a whole day sick in bed. This is a recurring problem for me because I think nobody is that busy to not be able to send a simple text during the day, this has already happened other times and now I’m questioning if this is something I can live with.
I’d really appreciate some advice from other intercultural or just relationships in general about how to handle this situation.

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**TL;DR;** : my boyfriend doesn’t text me

Me (18M) and my girlfriend (17F) have been talking for 5 months and been dating for 3. She is everything I’ve wanted, she’s perfect, beautiful, and sweet, and considerate. Its just one problem that really bothers me- she is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS late. It doesn’t matter what the plans are, when I tell you that we’ve hung out probably upwards of 50 times (would be higher if I wasn’t on vacation for a good length of the summer), she hasn’t been on time once. Not once. If I say 2:30, ill text her at 2:25 and she will say “oh im just gonna shower and do my makeup and my hair and then Ill come over” At first i figured that it was just her procrastinating because she was nervous, but it’s been three months and I don’t know if she’ll ever change. Its not even a problem of punctuality or integrity for me. Its just the fact that I get really impatient REALLLL easy and I want to see my girlfriend at the time that we agree on. I wake up every morning we have plans and get so excited to see her, and I dont know, it just seems like she is late because maybe shes not as excited to see me or something, i just dont get it. As i continue to write this i realize that breaking up with her may be a little bit extreme, since she is literally the girl of my dreams- im just getting everything off of my chest- since it happened again today. Also, she always apologizes for being latw and asks if im mad, and of course i say no, but i just dont wanna start an argument. I just dont know man.

TLDR: My girlfriend is consistently late to every hangout we have. When she asks if im mad that she was late, i just say no of course not and then everything is fine- while i secretly am so frustrated. Im confused on whether this is a matter of not being as interested in hanging out as i am, or if this is a punctuality thing.

Hi guys this is a long one so be ready

I’m 23 y old f , met my ex while working at Starbucks
He was a customer and everyone loved him
I fell in love with him, his humor and sm little things ab him ,
I even quit my job to spend time with him; and we made money working on cars together
It truly was like a movie
Over time tho we had nasty arguments lots of disrespect from my end and his end and I mean a lottttt of fights

I ended up getting pregnant just when I was about done with the relationship, so we stayed together to force make it work

My family didn’t know we were together and I told them I didn’t wanna be with him and I wasn’t ready to be a mom and start a family with him, we were going thru a reallyyy rough patch at the time
I took off had an abortion and cut him off went no contact
Any updates about me he received were from my dad

Thennnnnn I became very depressed, and looked for him in every person I dated and he lived in my head rent free

I was angry at him , yet in love still and went thru therapy

Now 7 months later he shows up to my house.
Says he wants a second chance claims he’s never gonna love anyone the way he loves me , that he’s worked on himself
I was upset saying I’ve heard him say this speech before and weve always ended up arguring again
He tells me that I’m his person he wants marriage a family , and to give me everything I deserve

He also said that he loves me and I told him love isn’t always enough and I love him too but we’re unhealthy together
I still care about him tho?? Yet he pisses me off I genuinely can’t explain how I feel
We’ve been thru so much together and we feel like best friends that can’t be apart but gosh it’s hard

Soo ig my question is

When do u know it’s time to give up on someone?
Can a toxic relationship start over and be fixed ?
And does family opinion matter if u love someone ?

tl;dr

I feel like I’m no longer receiving affection from my boyfriend, and I don’t know if I’m overreacting
I’ve been struggling a lot these past couple of years, and I honestly don’t know if I’m being unreasonable about this.
My boyfriend (26) and I (24)have been together for many years. Recently, I’ve gained quite a bit of weight and I don’t look the way I used to. I’ve become really insecure about my body. Whenever we’re intimate, I find myself thinking about how I look and wondering what he thinks about my body.
He has told me many times that my body shape doesn’t matter to him, but I still struggle to actually feel that from him.
My love language is physical touch, and I’ve told him before that I want to feel seen and loved. I want to feel like he’s proud to be with me and that he isn’t ashamed of me in public. But I just don’t feel much affection from him anymore. It feels like there are a lot of words, but not much action behind them.
It also doesn’t help that some of his friends have made jokes about my weight. I don’t know exactly how he responds when I’m not around, but those comments have definitely made my insecurities worse.
We also don’t see each other very often. When we do, he usually wants sex, which I understand can be an important part of a relationship. But sometimes I genuinely don’t want to have sex.
The problem is that when I say no, he’ll often keep saying things like “come on, just real quick.” Eventually, I usually give in because I feel guilty. I tell myself to just get it over with because at least I’m making him happy.
But afterwards, I feel really sad because I start wondering: is that the only time he actually appreciates me? Is sex the only way I’m making him happy?
He is genuinely a good person in many ways, and that makes this even harder for me. I don’t want to make him sound like a terrible boyfriend because I don’t think he is. I just feel completely disconnected from him emotionally and physically.
Am I asking for too much? Or is it reasonable to want more affection, reassurance, and for my “no” to actually be respected?tl;dr

So me (F21) and my boyfriend (M26) have been dating for 2 years now, and as the caption says, yes he doesn't have a job. At first i was fine with it when i was younger bc i wasnt too career driven but now i am. Hes been unemployed for about a year, and his mom used to give him 700 dollar checks every week for pretty much doing like 10 hours of work. she stopped around 3 months ago and now hes saying hes only been unemployed for 3 months, but he has admitted to me before that she was basically just giving him money and didnt have to do much. Hes also saying hes been applying everyday but still no luck. Were not paying rent right now because we live with his mom, which i am very grateful for but i have expressed to him in the past that i want us to move out, or maybe even I just get my own space. He gets very defensive when i bring up wanting my own space and he thinks its weird because we've been living together all this time which i get but i just dont want to be seen as a bum not paying rent and not living on my own. He always tells me that we have to "get out of here baby", but i dont see the effort on his end. I dont think we have the same goals anymore which sucks because i do really love him. His mom will also give him money for his drinking habits which i think is absurd. Once i turned 18 i was expected to buy my own food!

tl;dr bf dosent have a job, i pay for most dates, dosent have a desire to be independent

I've been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years. I love her, and I respect that she's dealing with something real — her mental health has been bad for a long time, and I don't say that to diminish what she's going through. But I'm at a point where I need to be honest, even if it's just to strangers on the internet, because I can't say this out loud to anyone I know.

She has severe mood swings, pretty much daily. I've asked her multiple times to see a therapist. She won't. Not once in 3.5 years. So it's just me, every day, trying to hold the emotional weight of whatever she's feeling, with zero professional support in the picture.

Here's the thing that makes it harder: I lost both my parents when I was young. That did something to me — made me numb, kind of flat, not someone who's naturally funny or good at lifting a mood or starting conversation easily. I'm not great at "cheering someone up." I never really learned how, because nobody ever really did it for me.

So most evenings go like this: I come home from work, tired, and I call her hoping for something light, something easy. And more often than not, her mood has already tanked — sometimes over something genuinely small. And I don't have the tools to fix it, and she doesn't have outside support to help her regulate it, so it just sits between us.

I've absorbed this for 3.5 years because I care about her and I don't want to abandon someone who's struggling. But I'm noticing it's wearing me down. I don't feel like I have space to have a bad day of my own. I don't feel like I'm allowed to be anything other than the stable one.

I don't know if this post has a question at the end. Maybe: how do you keep showing up for someone like this without disappearing yourself? Has anyone been on either side of this and figured out where the line is?

TL;DR: Dating someone with severe, untreated mental health issues for 3.5 years. She refuses therapy despite me asking repeatedly, and has daily mood swings. I lost both my parents young, which left me numb and not great at cheering people up or keeping conversation light — so when I come home hoping for a good time and get hit with her bad mood instead, I have no tools to fix it and no backup from professional support on her end. I've absorbed it for years because I care about her, but it's now taking a real toll on my own mental health, and I don't know how much longer I can keep being "the stable one" with no space for my own bad days.

Age 24 , 24 Long story please bear with me. This has been bothering me for a very long time now. Sooo

I recently realised I’m attracted to women as well as men. There is this girl in one of my clubs in uni and she is well liked I believe by everyone . We are a small group so everyone kinda knows everyone. The problem is I like her , but she has a girlfriend. She openly tells people that so I don’t think she is trying to hide anything here. Her gf was in another country. Because it’s my first time liking anybody in my life I didn’t know what to do(I’m in my mid 20s and so is she) I asked her to hang out with me. She did , but the thing is I also asked my friend to join( I told her that my friend is also joining) she also got her friend. When her friend was around she was kinda ignoring me and when the friend left she was being sooo sweet to me and said we should hang out again. My friend didn’t like her and said she is a bit shady. After a few days I asked her if she wanted to study together and she said yes but I kind of missed the text where she said she is studying at xyz place ( we had not agreed on a time yet) she didn’t reply the previous day so I missed the text somehow. Anyways she didn’t mind and I said we could study again the next day if possible she said yes and this time I was really busy and told her I cannot make it. She also said she was so it’s all good.

Fast forward one day I accidentally call her at night and then realized that she can see the missed call even if it didn’t go through and texted her in the morning that it was an accidental. She said no worries , but later that day when we were in association class she asks me was that really a bitt dial or I needed some moral support with a kind of tone that made it look like she didn’t believe me. After a few days we all the association group hung out one night and she kind of said something weird. When there was no one around she said that my makeup necklace and jacket was all so nice and that she sees me ..and I kind of just brushed it off said thanks and then was around this other girl. She would sometimes look at me and make a scoffing face like she was pissed or something. But when I did talk to her normally when others are also around she would get scared and surprised that I am referring to her or looking at her or even talking to her. The thing is she always kind of ignores me and doesn’t approach me when the club people are around. If I try to talk to her casually just like how I talk to others she makes a scared face..literally!!! I mean what does it mean when someone is scared that you are talking to them. I understand if it’s like being a mean and making fun etc but she is scared?!! So I don’t talk to her when we are in the association class. But you know what, whenever she sees me anywhere else on campus or something..she talks to me as if we are really close or something..even if I don’t talk much she always hugs me smiles a lot and is soo nice etc..makes people think she is sooo good. Even if I try ignoring her she only approaches me and makes some conversation even if it isn’t required at all. But only in the association club she doesn’t talk to me. She does sometimes when usually no one’s around. I don’t get it, it’s not like she is saying some top secret stuff ..why can’t she just talk to me like how she talks to everybody..she is super friendly with everyone ..even with the ones others don’t really like that much..it seems like I’m the only one she doesn’t ..and it’s sooo situational it bothers me..because I really like her and I don’t know what to make of it. Can someone tell me what does that being scared meannnnnnnn. If there are other people around ( who are not of the association) she is never ignoring me …and if I’m with my friends she will still talk to me etc etc . Now her gf is with her in the same city

Thankssssss sooo much.

tl;dr why would someone be scared when you try talking to them at one place but be completely fine and themselves approach you other times..

I'm a 28-year-old male, and she's a 38-year-old female. We've really hit it off and things between us have been going great so far. We've been getting along really well, enjoying each other's company, and we've also been intimate a few times. Honestly, up until now, I haven't really had any major concerns or doubts about where things could potentially go between us.

I've always found myself preferring older women. I think part of that is because I tend to be attracted to the experience and maturity that can come with someone being older. Obviously, age doesn't automatically determine how mature someone is, but generally speaking, I've always felt that I connect better with women who have a little more life experience.

However, something recently came up that has completely scrambled my brain, and I've honestly been overthinking it for hours.

She told me that she has a 20-year-old daughter. Now, I completely understand that there is an eight-year age gap between me and her daughter, and logically, I know that I'm not actually close in age to her. I also know that I'm dating the mother, not the daughter, and I have absolutely no interest in her daughter whatsoever.

But for some reason, the fact that her daughter is 20 has really thrown me off.

I think the reason I'm struggling with it is because 20 still feels relatively close to my own age in a way that I wasn't expecting. If her daughter was 18 or 19, I honestly don't think I would feel quite as strange about it. But because she's 20, my brain seems to be making it feel like the age difference isn't as significant as it actually is.

Maybe I'm just massively overthinking the entire situation, but I genuinely can't seem to get it out of my head. Everything else between me and this woman has been great, and I don't want something that ultimately might not even be an issue to ruin something potentially good.

I'm also wondering whether I'm simply uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone whose child is an adult and not far behind me in age. Maybe it's less about the actual numbers and more about the situation itself. I've never been in this position before, so perhaps it's just something that feels unusual because it's completely new to me.

I'm not judging her for having a daughter, and her having a 20-year-old daughter doesn't change the fact that I like her. I'm just struggling to understand why it's bothering me as much as it currently is.

Am I genuinely overthinking this, or is it normal to feel a little strange about dating someone whose adult child is relatively close to your own age? If anyone has been in a similar situation or can offer some advice, I'd really appreciate it because I've genuinely been scrambling my brain over this for hours.

tl;dr

TL;DR: I (25M) reconnected with someone I previously dated (24F) and asked if we could give things another try. After one date, I realized I don't feel a romantic connection and would like to end things respectfully. How should I communicate this, especially since I was the one who suggested trying again?

I'm looking for advice on how to respectfully tell someone that I don't want to continue dating them.
I met this woman several months ago, and we initially stopped seeing each other because I wasn't ready for a relationship. I was honest with her about that at the time.
Some time later, she reached out to see how I was doing. We talked briefly, and eventually I reached out to her because I felt I hadn't handled things as well as I could have the first time. I asked if she would be open to going on a date and seeing if there could be something between us.
We went on one date, but afterward I realized that I don't feel the romantic connection I'm looking for. I don't want to lead her on, so I think it's best to be honest and end things now.

I feel a little awkward because I was the one who reached out and suggested giving it another try. What's the best way to communicate this kindly and respectfully?
Any advice would be appreciated!

We are a LGBTQ couple from India, and I know this isn’t simply about religion or atheism. At the heart of it, we are two people who genuinely love and care about each other, and I really don’t want our differences in beliefs to become the reason our relationship ends.My partner is an atheist, while I come from a Hindu/religious background. Over time, our different beliefs have become increasingly complicated, and sometimes we end up having conflicts because of them.

I want to make it very clear that I have absolutely no hatred or resentment towards him for being an atheist. I respect him, I respect his way of seeing the world, and I want him to be able to be himself without ever feeling pressured to believe what I believe. At the same time, I want to be able to explore and understand my own beliefs without that becoming a threat to our relationship.

Being from India also adds another layer to this because religion, family expectations, traditions, festivals, marriage, and cultural practices can be deeply connected here. So I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have dealt with similar cultural pressures, whether you're from India or anywhere else in the world.

I know we can't possibly be the first couple to go through something like this. There must be many couples around the world where one person is religious or spiritual and the other is atheist, agnostic, or follows a completely different belief system — and some of those couples must have found ways to build genuinely happy and healthy lives together.

That's why I would really appreciate hearing from people who have actually experienced this.

How did you make it work? How do you handle disagreements about religion or spirituality? What boundaries did you establish? How do you make sure neither person feels pressured to change? How do you deal with festivals, religious practices, families, marriage, children, and other future decisions where these differences might become more significant?

What compromises worked for you, and what things did you realize should never require compromise? How did you learn to disagree without those disagreements turning into fights or making either person feel that their identity was being rejected?

I'm not looking for someone to tell me that one of us needs to convert, become religious, become atheist, or simply end the relationship.

I'm looking for perspectives from people who have found a way to love each other without requiring each other to see the world in exactly the same way.

If you're in a relationship like this and have managed to build a happy life together, I would genuinely love to hear your story — including the struggles, mistakes, boundaries, compromises, and lessons that helped you get there.

We love each other, and I don't want us to give up on something meaningful just because our beliefs are different. I want to understand how couples who have been through this learned to navigate those differences while still allowing each other to be themselves.

**TL;DR;**

TLDR

My bf (22M) of 4 years all throughout university. Me(21F)..he's my first love..first relationship..first almost everything 🥲

I love him very much and I honestly can't imagine a life without him.. it feels blurry and scary like jumping off a cliff but lately life with him is starting to feel like a death by 1000 cuts with bandaid sometimes...

We got over an emotional betrayal in the past (u can read my previous 💔 post) and honestly he never said sorry for putting me through it...I forgave him in my head and he forgave me for putting him in a tough spot..all is well I thought. Our relationship looks fine on the surface..he's nice , loving and makes me smile..texts no other girl anymore. He landed a good job in another city..and I know he sort of wishes that we should live in the same city so that we can stay together..and he is never suspicious of me at all ..even if he is..he says he doesn't care because there is no way to actually confirm that someone is cheating unless u see it explicitly with ur own eyes...so no point in monitoring. Overall our relationship finally started to feel blissful even in ldr.

But the problem is..right from the start..he's been an avoidant attached personality. A conflict appears..he disappears for hours..sometimes days if I dont fix it first. Or tries to reset back to normal without repair after hours of ghosting. I go along with it to keep the peace but after years of being unheard. And dismissed and always blamed for every conflict. I dont know how long i can stay without emotional availability...but at the same time..I am so scared to start over again..he's hot, intelligent , well mannered and kind to the outside world..gives me his time everyday..wherever he is..and when we r happy..we click so well..I cannot imagine literally nobody in his place if I break up with him..all the good times..but again when a conflict arises idk who he is..I am scared that I'll be alone when I really need him...because there had been many instances where he left me alone when all I needed was for him to stay and say..here I'm..im not going anywhere. Idk what to do..it sucks so much I feel like I am stuck in a limbo..and note : he never fought for this relationship

.I know the min I say break up..he'd leave without questions asked..I feel like he's emotionally checked out of this relationship long ago or that he is so sure that I'll never truly leave..I wanna cry.. can u love someone and stay with them..all ur life without emotional availability and when they sometimes act like a misogynist.. and recently I started to talking to his mum..I really like her..at this point i like her better than I like him..but the way she describes some things at home.. and knowing he grew up seeing his mum being ignored when crying or always made to feel like overly sensitive.. and left alone when emotionally broken..I am scared that will happen if I ever marry him.. but when he smiles all my doubts and worries goes out of the window.. all i care about is that damn smile..I feel so cooked.

All of this ran inside my head is because..I told him u try to buy me all little stuff or food I ask for but why do u never get me flowers..he only did once on my bday that too a single orchid...and sometimes he plucks the flowers from trees when hes in a good mood. The no of times he got me flowers can be counted on my fingers within our 4 year relationship..and when i argued about flowers.. he got mad and hung up and just ghosted me for hours even though I sent reassuring texts that I appreciate everything he does for us and that maybe my tone should have been better and that i am sorry if i hurt him..that i meant no disrespect and offered to order something he likes to eat ..he downright rejected it and just left..yet again.Mind u i have begging for flowers since years..its not about flowers..its about getting one from him..i know i sound pathetic...i really dont know what to do..I love him i dont wanna leave him..over something petty but its the little things that hurt together the most right..please advise me reddit. Be respectful in the comments..

i am (f16) he is (m17). we’ve talked to each other about a month online. before that i met him for a weak when i was back at my country. i confessed to him that i like him, and he replied saying he has mutual feelings. yet after that… i am not sure what to do. i am very confused since it is my first possible relationship ever.. I didn’t ask if he wants to start dating ( which would be long distance for two years, before i return back to my country. i will be visiting it more tho through out this two years ).

what concerns me is the fact that i was the one to confess.. he said that he thought we would chat for 2-3 months and that’s all.. did he not have in mind confessing? also.. do i have to be the one again to suggest relationship? i just feel like i would be doing all of it, and it makes me feel like he doesn’t even want it..

i heard from my european friend ( i am slavic ) that before actually dating and being friends there is some other stage, where you see if you really match (..i think? i never heard abt it so i am not 100 percent sure..)

i know that in general he isn’t really that talkative. his mom even spoke to my mom saying that they aren’t really that talkative and never talk to girls ( my mom and his are best friends, i met him ages ago as children. he also have a twin brother)

can i ask advice on what to do? do i wait, letting him do the move? and advice regarding my concerns on him not wanting it? should i address it to him or just wait?

tl:dr: how do i get into relationship with the guy to whom i confessed, who has same feelings for me?

hello
he has a friend who he told me about very early on into mine and his relationship and when i asked about her he told me about how they did IT together because she wanted to try with a boy, how they would make out as friends, but also how she was a lesbian.. at the time he told me about her he wasn’t speaking to her as she blocked him bc of something that happened between them unrelated.. so every now and then he would send me pics of her randomly as well as other random pics unrelated and then tell me that he missed her and i also remember him telling me everyone needs a (her name) in their life.. and he also told me about how when they first met he thought she was pretty cute but then found out she was lesbian.. and now that mine and his relationship has progressed.. and also what i told u there that was a while ago.. im now feeling insecure because he still hangs out with her now and i can’t help but compare myself to her. sometimes he sends pics of her to me when they are out together but acts super innocent about it as it does seem innocent like they just do friend things together.. i just feel like if she was straight, he’d be with her. Or idk if she is lesbian.. idk i want to trust him too..

**TL;DR; : guy im talking to has a friend that he has a history with **.

I don’t know how to feel about this.

We’ve been dating for 6 months. About 4 months ago she told me she stalked me when we first started dating and I didn’t think much of it, I honestly thought she only went through my pictures. Fast forward a few weeks later, she takes her phone out, pulls up my Instagram following list, and starts going through all the girl’s profiles I follow and starts asking me where I know them from. Saying I felt uncomfortable is an understatement. She decided to pull this move because I had recently uploaded a new post and 2 female friends from high school commented on it and she got jealous.

The thought of going through someone’s following list had never crossed my mind, let alone someone I’m starting to date. This got the best of me. I decided to go through her following as well and all it did was make me insecure (duh). So I took that as a sign and said “fuck it”, I decided to delete instagram, I did not, however, deactivate my account.

The following day she decided to delete insta as well since she had already been contemplating it according to her, so I thought “cool”.

Okay, so a few days ago, I’m minding my business on Reddit checking up on the latest GTA6 news, and she walks past me, side eyeing my phone and then asks me if I was on insta, to which I replied “no, it’s Reddit”. She then leaves and goes to her room.

I followed her and immediately she handed me her phone with some girl’s insta on her screen and started asking me who she was. I take a good look at it and recognize her from middle school, so I tell her that. She then asks “If you’re weren’t on insta, then why did you just follow her today?!” So naturally, I started tripping, because there’s no way I could’ve followed this girl since I don’t have instagram downloaded, and also, I’m not a douchebag boyfriend who follows random girls online.

So I download insta, go to this girl’s profile and unfollow her, then seeing she has her profile in private. So I tell my girl A) I could have sent her a request months ago and she just accepted it, or B) her profile was temporarily down and she logged in after a break (who hasn’t done this?).

She calmed down and I saw in her eyes that she believed me, which was a huge relief. But what did stand out to me and left me intrigued was, how tf did she know my following went up by 1? And mostly, how did she know when it went up? Obviously, I confronted her about this and she told me there’s this website that gives you all those details, she didn’t even try to hide it lol, and she told me she used before, when se started dating.

So now I know how she rolls. She’s got me checked up in a way and I’ve been feeling a bit uncomfortable ever since. I don’t know how much of a red flag this is, and I don’t know if she’s only used this website more than the 2 times she told me. And this sucks cause there’s many things about her I adore. But this, man, I don’t know.

Any advice?

TL;DR

Gf uses online platform to check my insta following count and it creeps me out.

​

Hey everyone! I’ve been seeing a lot of discussions about the 5 love languages, and I'm genuinely curious: do people actually fit into these neat little boxes?

For me, it feels way too rigid. My needs depend entirely on context: my mood on any given day, what I'm dealing with at the moment, how comfortable I feel with the person, and the actual dynamic between us. Our needs are fluid, not fixed to a single category. For example, physical touch for me is something deeply vulnerable, it's not something I'd share with just anyone, only with someone I deeply trust and feel truly accepted by.

To be fair, I don't have any relationship experience, not even close friendships, so I haven't really tested this in real life. Maybe that's why the theory feels so hard to map onto myself.

Does anyone else feel like love languages shift constantly based on the situation and the person you're with, or do you actually fit strictly into one category?

**TL;DR;** : Love languages may not work the way we are told