I (29F) always feel like my husband (29M) is shooting down my ideas when I get excited about something. This evening, I developed a new training plan for an upcoming half marathon, and spent an hour on my first workout. I got home and told him all about it. He responded by telling me what I could be doing better, and saying that my plan isn't optimal.

I immediately felt disheartened. I told him I didn't appreciate him immediately criticizing something I'm excited about, and please only give unsolicited advice if you're truly concerned about me, not just to pick out things that are imperfect.

This sort of thing has been a pattern. I also love playing music, I've been working on coding, and I do other random projects from time to time. His first response always seems to be criticism. Or, especially with music, that I'm being too loud.

I've brought this up many times, and he doesn't seem to get it. Today, I asked him if he can try to brainstorm ways to respond more supportively. He said "he won't commit to anything right now," because this is all brand-new to him.

I feel uncared for and put down, and I explained this to him as well. What do I do in this situation? Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

TL;DR: My husband criticizes my ideas and projects. I've brought it up many times and he hasn't changed. What do I do?

IMPORTANT EDIT: the age is a typo!!! We're both 28, so sorry for the confusion 🫪

Sorry, this is super long, but I need to talk about it somewhere.

What if you're with someone that can be really great, your family loves him and he does try to be supportive... But it's just not it? We had a great relationship before moving in together, had fun and resolved any issue with calm conversations. We were together for a little over a year when we moved in to an apartment about a year ago, and everything changed.

We smoked weed together just a few times and it was fun, but he never told me that weed was his way of relaxing and dealing with stress. He'd smoke 3-4 times a week, sometimes more than once a day. I don't like living with the smell and I don't like feeling like the sober one at the party when I get home. He said he'd stop and it got better, but he still uses it as a tool to help him sleep, instead of just a fun thing to do sometimes. I'm an immigrant here, I told him before moving in that I would have a really hard time finding another appartement and I asked questions, but he said he had nothing specific to talk about before doing this. Turns out he just assumed he'd have control and it wouldn't be a problem, but that means I couldn't make an informed decision to risk it or wait. It's better, then worse, then better, then worse... So I can't rebuild my trust because he keeps breaking it.

He cooks even more than I do, which I'm very thankful for, but it's clear he still feels like he's "helping". I feel so spoiled for complaining because I know that many men simply don't do anything at home and I love that I can't say the same about him. But then he adopted a dog on the best possible time for him (he still had a week of vacation), but at the worst time for me because I had one last week to write my master's thesis. I wasn't available for dog training sessions and didn't want to think about it before my deadline, so he mentioned the fact that he cooks, and this is all that he's asking of me. I felt like I didn't have the right to be stressed and put my work first even though I always avoided working at home as much as possible. I just needed one week of focus on my degree.

He agrees that we shouldn't have kids right now, agrees that women shouldn't be the only ones responsible for contraception, but then forgets to bring condoms every time we have a short trip during the weekend. And has the gall to make a joke about it all being on me. I still tap him on the shoulder during sex to remind him to put it on.

He forgot to give me a Christmas gift, even though I learned to knit just to give him fingerless gloves that he needed for work. I had to have multiple conversations with him about it, saying that it was hurtful, until he finally got me something. My birthday was last week. He forgot until the morning of, got me a cheap bamboo fan and a mug as a present and bought frozen cheesecake (his favorite). I don't have a lot of money, but I always put so much effort into what I give him and find ways to get something I'm sure he'll like and use, and he used to do the same.

He never tells me he loves me, he says he's always had a hard time saying that to anyone and talking about his emotions. When we have a problem now, I explain what I'm feeling and he stays silent or says very little. Talking things over feels like a monologue.

He has so many wonderful qualities, he can be supportive in so many other ways, takes care of me when I'm sick or tired, takes my feelings seriously, and can be so thoughtful. But all of these little things are wearing me down. This was the healthiest relationship I had so far, up until moving in.

I know other women have so many other, more difficult problems to deal with. But is this really it? Is this all I should be expecting from a partner? Should I have to ask for him to say he loves me, to give me a gift, to care about contraception?

I think I rationally know the answer, I just do really love his company and I don't want to leave. But I also don't want to stay like this. I like being with someone and for now it's tolerable, but if we ever got married, I can already see this getting worse and us getting divorced. Is it worth it to get therapy for a two and a half year long relationship or is this already a sign to get out before it gets too bad? Maybe these are all normal things, that come with moving in and adapting to another person.

TL;DR : two and a half year relationship. Everything was going really well until we moved in together a year ago. He does so many things that I love, but certain things bother me a lot. Are my expectations too high or is this really not ok for a long-term relationship?

we have been dating for over 5 months now, and had pined over each other for 4 months before that. i’ve known him for nearly 4 years.

i just don’t know what to do. i’m completely heartbroken. we do really love each other, we have had no big problems in our relationship—the only thing i can think of is that this is his first serious/long term relationship, while it is my third. but i love him more than i’ve ever loved anybody.

i know that we are both very young, but it’s not wrong to just want a chance of things working out, right? he and parent 1 think that he will not be able to focus on college and will not be able to handle a serious relationship, along with his want to discover himself and grow and change, because he doesn’t feel like an adult yet. he doesn’t want anything holding him back. that concept breaks my heart even more. the idea that it’s not possible to grow and change together, or to at least try. the idea that it would be impossible to figure out a good compromise on keeping a relationship bothers me as well. on some level, i agree! keeping a full fledged relationship in school could be hard, but there are solutions to that, there are ways to make it work! 🙁 parent 2 would be supportive of us continuing to date, they do not have any strong feelings on the matter.

we have both agreed that we love each other so much that we want to be best friends until the day that we die, even if we stop dating. we have also agreed to work together professionally in the future (we are both artists, and look up to each other). and of course, i would be honored to have him as my best friend. i truly love him, completely, and if—or when—the time would come to actually break up, i would reshape that love into being the best friend ever. but i just feel like if we miss this chance, we might never get it again. i just want a chance to try.

right now, i can’t talk to him very much about it. we had several, very long text conversations about it for a few days, but he and parent 1 agreed that he is spending too much time thinking about the relationship and my reaction to his decision instead of thinking about college. it is fair, and i understand the need to put college first for now. but my heart feels so terribly heavy, and every morning i wake up and my heart beats uncontrollably fast just thinking about things ending next summer.

i was thinking about trying again to persuade him to just give our relationship a chance in college on our 1 year anniversary in the spring, or perhaps in the summer, maybe july. the month before college starts. i would do anything for him, and not in the silly, lovesick way—i have been working very, very hard to improve myself and my mental health in tangible ways since we started dating, because i know it is important to him, and in turn, it is important to me. it will continue being important to me even if/when we stop dating. i make an effort to bond with his family, because they are genuinely important to me, and i care about them. i am always there for him, and i have helped and supported him with his own mental health and self esteem. i support his art (which, of course i do. he is one of my favorite artists, ever) and we work incredibly well together on any kind of project, art, design, architecture, engineering—we have made incredible work together. we get along so well, and we can both be silly, childish, even very intimate together without getting embarrassed or feeling shame. i know that we could figure something out, we are both fairly intelligent and mature for our age. i just want to try to date in college, and i would be fine with it if we tried and it didn’t work out, the problem is that he doesn’t even want to try!!! 🙁

should i try again to convince him once about a year has passed, and it is time to go our separate ways? shоuld i try to convince him before then? shоuld i do anything at all? i don’t think my feelings are invalid, but is my reaction unwarranted? is there any way to soothe the terrible heartache that i am going through? 

(i don't mean this as asking for some kind of objective moral input, i just. i don’t know, i do not know what to do 🙁) 

honestly, any kind of advice would be incredibly appreciated, i just feel so lost and sad.

i am also seeing a therapist for a consultation today, which think will help me greatly. and of course, if she is the right fit, i would talk to her about this as well. i just feel like im going to implode with the waves of intense feelings that come over me every day. thank you for reading this super long post 🥲

TL;DR, my boyfriend of 5 months and friend of almost 4 years, and one of his parents, wants us to stop dating when college starts next year. their reasons are that they don’t think he can handle having a serious relationship while also working on college stuff, and he doesn’t want any ties to his childhood and wants to reinvent himself and become more adult, without anything holding him back. the idea that we could stop dating one day isn’t what bothers me, what bothers me is that he doesn’t even want to try to keep dating in college, and i truly think that we could miss out on something really great if we end it just like that. we both care about and love each other very much, and other than this, have an incredibly happy and supportive relationship. we are currently still dating.

My boyfriend (27M) and I (22F) have been together for four years, long distance for the past year.

When we met, I was in college and he already had his own business. He was charming, ambitious, adventurous, and traveled frequently for work. I’m similar in temperament, so we felt like a good match and talked about building our lives around travel and our careers.

There were some red flags early on. He could be very jealous and clingy when I traveled or worked with men, although this improved considerably after we talked about it.

He also used to tickle me despite knowing that it was connected to a serious trauma from my past. I explained why it was such a sensitive issue, but it took several months and a very bad reaction from me before he fully stopped. There were other physical boundaries I didn't know how to enforce when I was younger.

Recently, something happened that I can't seem to move past.

After we'd been apart for several months, we were intimate and he tried to put nicotine in my mouth. I told him no several times and tried to stop him, but he did it anyway and laughed. I ended up crying afterward.

The substance itself isn't really the issue. What bothers me is that I clearly said no and tried to stop him, and he continued anyway. He apologized afterward and has been gentle since, but something changed for me. I now have trouble fully relaxing during intimacy, even when I want to be close to him.

There are smaller things that have also started bothering me. He gets upset when I don't send him photos, dismissed my concerns about walking alone at night as a woman, and laughed when I told him about unwanted attention I've received from other people.

I've also noticed that I've lost a lot of my physical attraction toward him. He's changed physically since we got together, while I've stayed relatively similar. He also recently moved from his previous career into blue-collar work. I don't look down on that kind of work, but part of me feels like he's moved away from the ambitious person I originally fell in love with.

Recently he told me he can't wait for me to become successful so I can start paying for everything. That really hurt, especially because I'm a broke recent arts graduate and already feel guilty that I can't contribute much financially right now.

He's currently looking for work in my city, so there's a possibility we'll soon be living in the same place. Instead of feeling excited about that, I'm realizing I'm not sure I actually want it.

I love him, and four years is a long time to share with someone. At the same time, I'm questioning whether we're actually compatible long-term. I'm also scared of being alone in a new city, struggling financially, and trying to build the life I've dreamed about without him.

How would you approach this situation? Am I focusing too much on individual problems? Am I self sabotaging by focusing on the bad?

TLDR: My boyfriend had trouble listening to my boundaries and while have gotten better since, he crossed it the other month and I haven’t been able to move past it.

Today I took off work because I am sick. He is usually here every day after work. But today he decided to go do a job for one of his friends after work. He never sent me a text or even asked me when we talked on the phone if I needed anything, he just announced at the end of work he wasn’t coming over today. This is the first day I have ever been this sick since we met or took off work. He never asked me once today how I was feeling or if I needed anything. He told me yesterday he could do that job for his friends whenever he wanted and it didn’t have to be today. Yesterday when I first was getting sick he said he was going to come over and make me dinner but instead got ingredients to make the same dinner I make several times a week and then proceeded to watch me cook it. Then today when I woke up sicker, nothing from him.

TL;DR: bf offered to make dinner yesterday but got me ingredients for me to cook dinner then today when I am sicker and took off work, he never asked how I am or if I need anything, just called to tell me I won’t see him today.

I've been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years. I love her, and I respect that she's dealing with something real — her mental health has been bad for a long time, and I don't say that to diminish what she's going through. But I'm at a point where I need to be honest, even if it's just to strangers on the internet, because I can't say this out loud to anyone I know.

She has severe mood swings, pretty much daily. I've asked her multiple times to see a therapist. She won't. Not once in 3.5 years. So it's just me, every day, trying to hold the emotional weight of whatever she's feeling, with zero professional support in the picture.

Here's the thing that makes it harder: I lost both my parents when I was young. That did something to me — made me numb, kind of flat, not someone who's naturally funny or good at lifting a mood or starting conversation easily. I'm not great at "cheering someone up." I never really learned how, because nobody ever really did it for me.

So most evenings go like this: I come home from work, tired, and I call her hoping for something light, something easy. And more often than not, her mood has already tanked — sometimes over something genuinely small. And I don't have the tools to fix it, and she doesn't have outside support to help her regulate it, so it just sits between us.

I've absorbed this for 3.5 years because I care about her and I don't want to abandon someone who's struggling. But I'm noticing it's wearing me down. I don't feel like I have space to have a bad day of my own. I don't feel like I'm allowed to be anything other than the stable one.

I don't know if this post has a question at the end. Maybe: how do you keep showing up for someone like this without disappearing yourself? Has anyone been on either side of this and figured out where the line is?

TL;DR: Dating someone with severe, untreated mental health issues for 3.5 years. She refuses therapy despite me asking repeatedly, and has daily mood swings. I lost both my parents young, which left me numb and not great at cheering people up or keeping conversation light — so when I come home hoping for a good time and get hit with her bad mood instead, I have no tools to fix it and no backup from professional support on her end. I've absorbed it for years because I care about her, but it's now taking a real toll on my own mental health, and I don't know how much longer I can keep being "the stable one" with no space for my own bad days.

Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for 6 years. We live together and have a 3yo child.

I guess I’m looking for outside perspectives and kind advice about our relationship.

Here are some facts:
- we started dating and living together is his hometown, a big city. We both worked there, though we were/are 100% remote working from home, 9 to 6 jobs.
- we moved to my hometown 3years ago, 2h drive, and live in an independent house inside my parents property
- I’m a somewhat outdoorsy person who likes to be outside, living close to nature, don’t have lots of hobbies, only my plants, and I love the countryside slower living. Don’t have much social life besides family gatherings
- He is more of what I consider a city person, had less contact with nature his whole life so he doesn’t enjoy it that much, but his main hobbies is online gaming , specifically world of Warcraft (I never played it or any other game). He does not go a day without contacting it: if we are home, he’s on the computer, if we’re out, he does spend some time is related subreddits, talking to his friends about it (I think, I don’t purposely see his messages) or watching videos about it on YouTube. He did have a big group of friends but they kind of started excluding them after we moved here because he was not able to be present as much in spontaneous gatherings
- I’m in charge of laundry (washing, hanging, folding, putting away) 99%. I’m in charge of grocery shopping 95%. I’m usually the one that takes care of the dishwasher and everything related 90% of the times
- he’s in charge of dinners. Takes care of it 95% of the times we eat at home
- we have a cleaning person for the house every 2 weeks
- I’m usually the one that tidies up the house 95%
- we share pick up after work and bath time for our 3 yo, but I’d say I do both more than 70% of the times
- I do our child’s morning and night wakings 100% since the birth. School needs, clothes and toys are also 100% on me.

And now my views:
- For me, the time he spends online is the root cause of our problems. I feel like he has some kind of addiction to being online, all the time. He will stay up through the night playing, while me and my daughter are sleeping in the bedroom (we live in a 1bedroom house). Week days and weekends he will stay up until 4 or 5 am. He then goes to bed, sleep for like 4 or 5 hours and goes to work straight out of bed. On weekends he’ll sleep till noon, while our child and I have been up since 7.30am. Usually I start trying to wake him up around 11am because I’m getting tired of doing everything alone. I need to say that my mom helps me a lot with my child, keeping me and my child company and helping with food in general, but I also think our child is the parents responsibility.
- something I complain about a lot is that I don’t have any time just for myself, and that I envy him for spending so much time of his day in a non-parenting non-work related role. I feel I took the role of mom 100%, primary caregiver, and his dad role is for when I can’t take it anymore. He does not present any initiative to do chores or tasks with or without our child, he will only do them after I ask, or I have shown I’m beyond tired.
- He is a kind person, and I enjoy talking to him about different subjects. I think we can open any topic and can talk about without judgement from the other side.
- Sex wise I have been feeling strongly disconnected. I never was a very sexually active person but my libido has decreased since we have a child. Since I’ve always been the primary caregiver, I’m always in a mom state of mind, never in the woman state of mind. Also I feel that my disconnect is related to the fact the he does not take care of his health and that I feel I do the majority of the load of parenting. He does not have any sleep hygiene, he doesn’t seek medical care by his initiative, or take any initiative to do something for the whole family. He has put some weight on, but I feel that the problem is not the weight, it’s the lack of care for his health, because every time he will start talking about working out or going to the doctor, I feel happier and energised. Like, I feel I’m most attracted to him when he takes care of himself. But he doesn’t really realise that, I think.
- outings on weekends and holidays is another topic of complaint. I need to be the one planning outside activities that fit his preference of not being away from home a lot. If it were for him, we would go have lunch somewhere on Saturdays (that’s the one activity we always do outside) and then go back home, stay in. We don’t allow much screen time for our daughter, 10-15min a day tops, so either we play with her inside or we plan an activity to be out. Luckily the property is big and can do gardening, play outside, take care of chickens, play with both our dogs, ride a bike etc. but I’m the one that does most of those activities with her. Because on weekends he’s mostly sleeping in or in the computer lol. lately I’ve been starting doing stuff without him, with our child and my parents while he stays sleeping or gaming, because they will actually do stuff with us without it looking like they are doing me a favor.
- I also feel I’m not his priority, like never, because it’s very hard to get me his attention when I talk to him. Like whenever I try to talk to him, he always has a screen in front of him or he’s sleeping. And his reaction is always impatience to deviate his attention from the screen. We regularly have 2h drives to his hometown (he drives) and our child usually sleeps the whole drive, and we could perhaps talk then, but we can’t speak loud to not wake them up, and I feel that that drive is my pause to just read a book, be in my thoughts or scrolling randomly through Reddit. I have a Facebook and an instagram account but i mostly use it to keep track of local events.
- in summary, I think I feel I’m solo parenting most of the time, and I don’t have a partner to do fun stuff

All the topics in this post have been discussed between us, some more than others. We haven’t tried couples therapy yet, I’m willing to, but I feel like that is another chore on me.

If this post is best suited for a different subreddit, please tell me which (I’m trying to not post in relationship_advice because I know he follows that one).

TL;DR: together for 6 years, with a 3yo. After moving to my hometown 3 years ago, the lifestyle mismatch has gotten worse. I'm doing ~90% of childcare and housework while he's gaming online until 4-5am every night. He's emotionally and physically distant, I feel invisible, drained and unsupported, and I'm resentful. We talk about stuff but I wouldn’t say we communicate well. He won't take initiative on anything. Unsure if this is fixable or if I'm just exhausted.

My girlfriend and I have had many issues with our relationship since we first started dating my friend has been very supportive and a huge part of my life. He introduced me into weightlifting and now is my current landlord because his parents had the extra space.

The issue is that since we both go to the gym together a lot he eventually got a girlfriend who also goes to the same gym as us and I follow a routine of going at the same time everyday. I hardly ever break this routine and so does he. My GF doesn’t go to the gym at the same times as myself so she finds it uncomfortable that I go to the gym at the same time as him and his new girlfriend. I told her there is nothing between her and I since I go to the gym by myself and work in with them if we ever go at the same time I have no time to move my schedule around and finding another gym I like is very difficult also before that we had been going to the fit expo together for 2 years, so he brought his GF I tried asking mine to go just her and I and she said no. I’m going to be honest I know my answer I’m not going to cut him out he doesn’t impact my life negatively. I’m just curious what everyone thinks.

TLDR: GF wants me to cut off my friend of 8 years because I go to the same gym as my friends GF and sometimes work in with them and have gone to a fit expo with them twice.

We’ve been together for 8 months and I really love him, but I get anxious pretty easily. Sometimes when he replies short or takes a while to text back I start overthinking and ask if everything is okay between us. He says it makes him feel like I don’t trust him and that it’s exhausting. I don’t mean to be needy, I just get scared something is wrong. I’m 19 and this is my first serious relationship so I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if this is normal. I don’t want to push him away but I also don’t want to keep feeling this anxious. Am I the problem here?
Tl/dr: I don’t know if I’m being too much, this is my first serious relationship

I'm 21F and he's 27M. We've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 months. We've met a few times, and whenever we meet, we usually end up having sex. It's completely consensual and he has never forced me, but honestly, I've never really enjoyed the actual sex. I enjoy cuddling, kissing and just being physically close to him much more.

He's doing medicine, so I understand that his schedule can be hectic. He's also a smoker and drinks. I knew that from the beginning and initially didn't really have a problem with it. He also has parties in his hostel sometimes. They're usually just typical all-boys parties, and he isn't really a clubbing person, which I actually like about him. I don't suspect him of cheating or anything.

But sometimes he'll be at a party and we won't talk for 12–18 hours, not even a text. I know he's allowed to have his own life and friends, but being long-distance, communication is basically the main thing we have, so it does bother me sometimes.

He's a nice guy, and I don't think he's a bad person. But I also don't think he's the best boyfriend for me. There are things where I feel like I'm constantly adjusting or compromising.

We've also already decided that we won't get married because our lives are very different, so we both know this relationship will eventually end.

And lately I've started wondering why I'm making so many adjustments for a relationship that I already know doesn't have a future. I also hate being alone, and I have a pretty specific idea of what my "perfect guy" would be like. Sometimes I wonder if I'm staying because I genuinely want him, or because I don't want to be alone.

I don't blame him for being who he is, and I don't think he's a terrible boyfriend. That's what makes this so confusing.

What should I do? How do I figure out whether I actually want this relationship or whether I'm just scared of being alone?

TL;DR: 21F dating 27M for 10 months. He's nice but not the boyfriend I imagined, I don't enjoy sex with him, and we've already agreed we won't marry. I hate being alone, so I'm questioning whether I actually want this relationship or I'm just afraid to leave. What should I do?

Hi! I’m currently a senior in high school, and I recently got out of a relationship that ended in a way I’m still trying to understand.

We were long-distance, and honestly, we were happy (I was coming back home after only two months of a LDR. We met before I had gone away). Then he suddenly started becoming distant. Eventually, he broke up with me, saying that there was no point in continuing a relationship when I was going to college out of state, and that he needed to focus on himself. He also said that I was “so successful” and had everything going for me, while his grades and test scores weren’t as good and he felt like he needed to work on himself.

He would compare himself to me pretty frequently (academics and looks wise), so part of me wonders if insecurity had something to do with it. I obviously don’t know for sure.

Anyway, after that, I heard there was a guy at school who was interested in me. We had each other on Snapchat, so I eventually sent him a random snap of my wall just to start something. He responded, but very slowly: like, 24 hours later or even more slowly. I asked him a few questions about something we both liked, and he answered, but again, hours later. I tried to keep the conversation going, and now I’m on delivered lol.

What confuses me is that I think we’ve only interacted once in person, but he still sometimes stares at me from across the room/hallway (according to my friends). So… I genuinely have no idea what’s going on there.

I’m not particularly upset about this guy. He was cute, and if he wasn’t actually interested, I’d rather figure that out sooner than later. But it has made me wonder if I’m doing something wrong when it comes to dating.

I’m a senior, and I’ve never been asked to my school's Fall Ball. I’d really love to have that experience before I graduate, but at this point I’m starting to feel like it’s just not going to happen. And I’m not trying to sound conceited when I say this, but I do put effort into myself. I get compliments on my appearance pretty often, I try to be kind and interested in people, I ask questions and make an effort to have conversations, I bake/cook, I go to the gym, etc. I know none of those things automatically mean someone should be interested in me, but I’m genuinely confused about what I could be doing differently.

Am I missing something? Is there something I should be doing differently, or is dating within your highschool just odd?

TL;DR: Recently got dumped by my long-distance boyfriend, then tried talking to a guy who supposedly liked me, but he’s barely responding despite obvious signs. I’d really like to go to my fall dance before I graduate, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing something wrong when it comes to dating. Any advice?

I(22F) met my boyfriend(24M) on Bumble and we've been together for a seven months. For the most part, he's good to me. He's introduced me to his family, pays for things, drives me places, tells me I'm beautiful, and seems to genuinely love and admire me. But lately I've started feeling like he likes the concept of me as his girlfriend more than he actually likes me as a person.

He got out of a six-year relationship about a month before we got together. At first, I thought the length of his previous relationship as a good sign because I thought it showed that he could commit to someone long-term. He also told me he was completely over his ex.

But when we first got together, he talked about her constantly. He'd casually tell me stories about her, things she liked, things they did together, and random facts about her. I know way more about her than I ever wanted to know. When I initially told him it bothered me, he basically said there was nothing wrong with talking positively about an ex because they ended on good terms and are now no-contact.
Eventually he stopped talking about her, but only after I had a complete breakdown over it. When I'd brought it up normally before that, he would forget and do it again.

He barely talks about her anymore, but I feel like the damage has already been done. There are shows I've been hesitant to watch because I remember him telling me his ex liked them. He tells me not to let his ex "cloud our relationship," but I feel like he's the one who put this giant cloud here in the first place.
He told me he wanted to do things he'd previously done with his ex with me so he could "rewrite" those memories and associate them with happy memories of us instead, in a positive light. And now I'm noticing that some of the things he repeatedly wants from me feel weirdly specific and don't fit my personality at all.
For example, he repeatedly talks about how he could lie with his head on my lap and sleep while I draw/work. He describes it almost like he's remembering a scene rather than imagining one. His ex was also an artist, so even though I obviously can't prove that they used to do this, every time he says it I picture them together. It's also just not me. When I draw, I like being isolated and completely focused on what I'm doing.

He also really likes when I make artwork specifically for him. His ex drew his old profile picture and made the wallpapers he used on his phone and laptop, so that association is hard for me to ignore too.
And that's where I've started realizing the bigger problem: he seems to really like having an artist girlfriend, but he doesn't seem particularly interested in me as an artist or person.
If I talk about something I'm interested in, he usually just says "cool" or "okay" and moves on, or sometimes he just doesn't seem interested at all. He doesn't really ask questions or want to understand why I like something.

Very early in our relationship he also decided he wanted a pet name for me. It wasn't something that developed naturally between us, he basically came up with a bunch of art-related nicknames and had me pick one. Even the nickname doesn't relate to the kind of art I actually make. It feels like "you're my artsy girlfriend, therefore you get an artsy girlfriend nickname."

It's difficult to explain because individually all of these things sound incredibly minor.
He's nice to me. He does a lot for me. He tells me he loves me. I don't think he's intentionally trying to hurt me. But lately I've been losing attraction to him because I don't feel like he actually knows me.
I'm also exhausted at the thought of bringing this up because I've already had so many conversations about the same general issue. "Please don't talk about your ex." "Please don't tell me things about your ex." "This makes me uncomfortable." He'll stop the specific behavior I complain about, but doesn't understand the root problem.
I don't want to keep giving him individual instructions for every new thing that bothers me.
At this point I'm drained enough that even thinking about having this conversation again makes me want to give up on the relationship entirely.
I'm not sure what to make of it since it has been a while since he actually talked about his ex. He also cleared his room of her stuff and cleaned old photos off his phone/camera roll. He doesn't call her crazy or talk badly about her, he says he wishes her the best, and when I asked what he'd do if she ever reached out wanting to get back together, he said he'd tell her he wasn't interested.

tldr; My boyfriend says he's over his ex as a person, but after hearing so much about their 6-year relationship, I can't shake the feeling that he's trying to recreate parts of it with me. I feel more like a replacement filling the same role than someone he's learning and loving as an individual.

TL;DR: I (25M) reconnected with someone I previously dated (24F) and asked if we could give things another try. After one date, I realized I don't feel a romantic connection and would like to end things respectfully. How should I communicate this, especially since I was the one who suggested trying again?

I'm looking for advice on how to respectfully tell someone that I don't want to continue dating them.
I met this woman several months ago, and we initially stopped seeing each other because I wasn't ready for a relationship. I was honest with her about that at the time.
Some time later, she reached out to see how I was doing. We talked briefly, and eventually I reached out to her because I felt I hadn't handled things as well as I could have the first time. I asked if she would be open to going on a date and seeing if there could be something between us.
We went on one date, but afterward I realized that I don't feel the romantic connection I'm looking for. I don't want to lead her on, so I think it's best to be honest and end things now.

I feel a little awkward because I was the one who reached out and suggested giving it another try. What's the best way to communicate this kindly and respectfully?
Any advice would be appreciated!

TL;DR: Amo meu namorado e nossa relação é tranquila, saudável e temos planos juntos, mas nossos estilos de vida são muito diferentes. Eu gosto muito de sair, viajar, beber e ter liberdade, enquanto ele prefere ficar em casa. Moramos juntos, juntamos nossas finanças e temos uma vida praticamente de casados, mas estou me sentindo sufocado e com saudade da minha individualidade. Também fico confuso porque, apesar de amar ele, sinto falta das emoções intensas que tinha em relacionamentos anteriores. Não sei se estou diante de uma incompatibilidade real ou se preciso aprender a ter mais individualidade dentro do relacionamento. Devo terminar ou estou jogando fora uma relação boa por gostar demais de liberdade?

Tenho (M)26 anos e namoro outro homem de 25.
Começamos a namorar em janeiro de 2024. No começo, eu não queria exatamente namorar. Já estávamos ficando há uns 3 ou 4 meses e, naquela época, podíamos ficar com outras pessoas. Eu sentia que, se não pedisse ele em namoro, provavelmente acabaria perdendo ele.
Quando estamos somente nós dois, damos muito certo. Temos ideias parecidas, conversamos sobre futuro e consigo enxergar nele alguém com quem eu poderia construir uma vida. Foi justamente por isso que decidi assumir o relacionamento, apesar de ainda estar bastante indeciso.
O problema é que, desde o começo, percebi algumas incompatibilidades.
Eu sempre fui uma pessoa muito festeira. Gosto de sair, beber, viajar, encontrar meus amigos, conhecer lugares e simplesmente aproveitar. Ele é completamente diferente. Raramente saía e bebe apenas às vezes.
Mesmo assim, ele é um cara muito legal, esforçado e trabalhador. Quando o conheci, ele estava se formando e eu fui acompanhando a evolução dele.
Na época, eu morava sozinho. Aos poucos, ele começou a passar cada vez mais tempo na minha casa. O que inicialmente era apenas passar o fim de semana acabou virando semanas inteiras juntos.
Até que um dia precisei sair do apartamento onde morava e decidimos alugar um apartamento juntos. Compramos móveis, dividimos as contas e, na prática, começamos a viver uma vida praticamente de casados.
E é aí que comecei a me sentir sufocado.
Não é que a gente se dê mal. Muito pelo contrário. Nossa convivência é tranquila. O problema é que temos estilos de vida muito diferentes.
Eu sinto muita falta de ter um parceiro para sair. Sempre imaginei que, quando estivesse em um relacionamento, meu namorado também teria vontade de viver esse tipo de coisa comigo.
Eu trabalho, consigo me sustentar, gosto de viajar, sair e tenho muita necessidade de liberdade e de ter minha própria individualidade. Quando, por exemplo, ele precisa dormir na casa dos pais para cuidar da casa e da irmã enquanto eles viajam, eu acabo saindo com meus amigos e me divirto como se fosse a última noite da minha vida.
E isso acaba sendo muito intenso justamente porque sinto que não consigo viver essa versão de mim mesmo com ele.
Ao mesmo tempo, eu vejo que ele tenta. Só que não é algo natural para ele.
Os amigos dele vivem chamando a gente para jogar vôlei. Eu não gosto e já falei várias vezes para ele ir sozinho, sem mim. Só que ele fica chateado quando eu não vou e, às vezes, acaba cancelando para ficar comigo.
E isso me incomoda porque, sinceramente, eu quero que ele vá. Quero que ele tenha os hobbies dele, os amigos dele e a vida dele. Não quero que ele deixe de fazer as coisas por minha causa.
Além disso, hoje nossas vidas estão extremamente interligadas.
Morando juntos, conseguimos ter um padrão de vida relativamente bom porque juntamos nossas rendas. Praticamente todo o dinheiro virou “nosso dinheiro”. Temos cartão de crédito com compras dos dois, uma fatura relativamente alta, aluguel caro e várias despesas compartilhadas.
E acho que isso também está pesando na minha cabeça.
Outra coisa que me confunde muito é que esse relacionamento é completamente diferente dos outros que tive.
Nos meus relacionamentos anteriores, eu sentia um turbilhão de emoções. Tinha paixão, brigas, reconciliações, aquela sensação de estar vivendo alguma coisa muito intensa.
Com ele, tudo é extremamente tranquilo. Quase não brigamos. Quando existe algum problema, geralmente conversamos e resolvemos.
Eu sei racionalmente que isso é algo bom. Só que, ao mesmo tempo, às vezes essa falta de emoções mais intensas me faz pensar: “Será que eu realmente amo ele?”
E a resposta que encontro dentro de mim é que sim, eu amo. Mas parece que tudo está tão confuso que não sei mais diferenciar amor, acomodação, companheirismo e medo de perder a vida que construímos.
Às vezes penso que talvez eu simplesmente não esteja pronto para viver uma vida tão “de casal”. Talvez eu goste demais da minha liberdade. Talvez eu tenha entrado em um relacionamento querendo alguém para construir uma vida, mas agora que essa vida realmente existe, estou sentindo falta da vida que tinha antes.
Só que terminar não seria simplesmente terminar um namoro.
Temos um apartamento relativamente caro que só conseguimos manter porque moramos juntos. Temos móveis, contas, cartão de crédito, compras parceladas e uma vida financeira completamente compartilhada.
Então fico pensando se estou apenas passando por uma fase, se preciso aprender a ter mais individualidade dentro do relacionamento ou se, no fundo, estou tentando me convencer a permanecer em uma relação que não combina comigo.

Quero opiniões sinceras, inclusive choque de realidade.
Vocês acham que estou confundindo estabilidade com falta de amor?
Estou sendo egoísta por querer um parceiro com um estilo de vida mais parecido com o meu? É possível amar alguém e, ainda assim, perceber que vocês não são compatíveis?

Ou o problema não é o relacionamento, mas o fato de termos perdido completamente nossa individualidade?

Podem falar na lata. Depois desse texto gigante que foi escrever tudo isso, aceito opiniões, críticas e até puxões de orelha.

I’ve (33f) been in a relationship with a guy (39m) for about 4 months now. Prior to that we did not discuss exclusivity explicitly, but we were acting like we were in a relationship. During the time he was seeing me consistently (before we established exclusivity) I found out that he was still active on the dating apps. And once, even actively using the app when we were together. When confronted he said he never met anyone and was on their really out of boredom and entertainment.

This led to a whole conversation where I confronted him and we became exclusive after I asked him (gave him a choice of being exclusive or casual where both of us can date other ppl)

This still weighs on my mind today and I can’t help but be resentful and suspicious

Any advice on what to do?

TLDR; suspect my boyfriend has tendencies to cheat based on past behavior

My girlfriend (27F) and I (28M) have been together for about 6 years, but over the last two years I feel our relationship has increasingly become criticism, arguments and resentment over small things.

She is under a lot of stress from work and has been warned multiple times by several people about it. When something else goes wrong, like her laptop breaking, she can completely explode. I understand the stress, but I don't think her bad day should automatically become mine too.

Recently she asked me to pick her up from university. I left work to do it and followed the location she sent me. I couldn't stop exactly at the pin, so I had to drive past and turn around, adding maybe 2–3 minutes MAX. She was furious that I hadn't done my "due diligence" and gave me another lecture about needing to do better, all because I shared my live location with her.

Another time I was gaming with a friend on Discord. Afterwards she accused me of badmouthing her to him. I hadn't even mentioned her. I offered to call him back so she could hear what we'd actually discussed, but she still felt I wasn't acknowledging her feelings.

I've started agreeing with her just to have peace, even when I don't agree — sometimes over really small things, like where our cat should stay during vacation.

She says I don't give her enough affection, while I often experience her becoming cold or giving me the silent treatment after disagreements. I feel we're stuck in a cycle where she feels neglected, criticizes me, I feel attacked and withdraw, and then she feels even more neglected.

The most serious incident was during an argument when she said I'd destroyed her life and our relationship, claimed the bedroom was hers, kicked me (literally) out of our bed and threw my pillow out of the room. That crossed a line for me.

We also own a home together. I personally paid around 90% of the money that went into buying it, and I also carry by far the majority of the household tasks while doing pretty much all the ongoing renovation alone.

I'm honestly heartbroken by how bitter I feel she has become compared with the person I fell in love with. I could keep adding examples I've collected over time, but I don't want to write an entire book here.

I'm not claiming I'm perfect. I'm sure I contribute to the problems too. But I increasingly feel like I'm walking on eggshells and don't know how to handle this situation anymore.

For those who've been through something similar: what specific topics or incidents would you bring up first in couples counseling, and what concrete signs did you look for afterward to tell whether things were actually getting better?

TLDR: My girlfriend (27F) and I (28M) have been together 6 years, but the last 2 have become increasingly negative, with constant criticism and arguments. I've started agreeing just to avoid conflict, and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. During one argument, she kicked me out of our bed. We also own a home together, where I've contributed about 90% financially and handle most household tasks and renovation. I know I'm not perfect, but I don't know how to break this cycle. What would you address first in couples counseling, and how would you tell if things are actually improving?

My girlfriend has changed and I genuinely don’t know what to do
Hi everyone, just looking for some outside opinions because I genuinely don’t know what to do.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 11 months, and honestly, those 11 months have mostly been great. We don’t live together and she’s a year older than me. She helped me through a really rough place in my life and I’m genuinely grateful to her for that.
But recently things have changed.
Our relationship is okay when it’s just the two of us. When we’re alone, it’s like I’m her whole world. She recently came back from Chile and me and her mum surprised her because she hadn’t seen me in ages, and she was genuinely so excited to see me. Moments like that make me think everything is okay.
But whenever we’re with all of our friends, it’s completely different. She basically acts like I don’t exist. I feel like an accessory rather than her boyfriend. I’ve brought this up with her before and she apologised and said she’d change, but then nothing actually changes.
There’s also some history that makes this harder. At one point she put us on a break because she was “stressed out”, but while we were on the break she went off and made out with other people. I eventually took her back, and honestly I don’t really know why. Maybe I’m just hopelessly in love with her, or maybe I just didn’t want to lose her.
The confusing thing is that I don’t think she’s a bad person, and I don’t think she doesn’t care about me. When it’s just us, she makes me feel completely loved. It’s mainly when other people are around that I feel like I don’t matter.
I don’t want her to stop seeing her friends or choose me over them. I just want to feel like her boyfriend even when we’re around other people.
I’ve already talked to her about this before, so I don’t really know what else I can do. I love her and I don’t really want to throw away 11 months, but at the same time I don’t want to stay in something that’s making me feel like this.
What would you do in my situation?
This is only part of the story, so if this actually gets some responses I’ll give more information.

—-

**TL;DR;** : My girlfriend and I have been together for 11 months. Things are great when we’re alone, but around our friends she acts like I don’t exist. I’ve brought it up before and she promised to change, but hasn’t. She also previously put us on a break because she was stressed, then made out with other people, and I still took her back. I love her and don’t want to lose her, but I’m starting to wonder whether staying is actually good for me. What would you do?

TLDR

My bf (22M) of 4 years all throughout university. Me(21F)..he's my first love..first relationship..first almost everything 🥲

I love him very much and I honestly can't imagine a life without him.. it feels blurry and scary like jumping off a cliff but lately life with him is starting to feel like a death by 1000 cuts with bandaid sometimes...

We got over an emotional betrayal in the past (u can read my previous 💔 post) and honestly he never said sorry for putting me through it...I forgave him in my head and he forgave me for putting him in a tough spot..all is well I thought. Our relationship looks fine on the surface..he's nice , loving and makes me smile..texts no other girl anymore. He landed a good job in another city..and I know he sort of wishes that we should live in the same city so that we can stay together..and he is never suspicious of me at all ..even if he is..he says he doesn't care because there is no way to actually confirm that someone is cheating unless u see it explicitly with ur own eyes...so no point in monitoring. Overall our relationship finally started to feel blissful even in ldr.

But the problem is..right from the start..he's been an avoidant attached personality. A conflict appears..he disappears for hours..sometimes days if I dont fix it first. Or tries to reset back to normal without repair after hours of ghosting. I go along with it to keep the peace but after years of being unheard. And dismissed and always blamed for every conflict. I dont know how long i can stay without emotional availability...but at the same time..I am so scared to start over again..he's hot, intelligent , well mannered and kind to the outside world..gives me his time everyday..wherever he is..and when we r happy..we click so well..I cannot imagine literally nobody in his place if I break up with him..all the good times..but again when a conflict arises idk who he is..I am scared that I'll be alone when I really need him...because there had been many instances where he left me alone when all I needed was for him to stay and say..here I'm..im not going anywhere. Idk what to do..it sucks so much I feel like I am stuck in a limbo..and note : he never fought for this relationship

.I know the min I say break up..he'd leave without questions asked..I feel like he's emotionally checked out of this relationship long ago or that he is so sure that I'll never truly leave..I wanna cry.. can u love someone and stay with them..all ur life without emotional availability and when they sometimes act like a misogynist.. and recently I started to talking to his mum..I really like her..at this point i like her better than I like him..but the way she describes some things at home.. and knowing he grew up seeing his mum being ignored when crying or always made to feel like overly sensitive.. and left alone when emotionally broken..I am scared that will happen if I ever marry him.. but when he smiles all my doubts and worries goes out of the window.. all i care about is that damn smile..I feel so cooked.

All of this ran inside my head is because..I told him u try to buy me all little stuff or food I ask for but why do u never get me flowers..he only did once on my bday that too a single orchid...and sometimes he plucks the flowers from trees when hes in a good mood. The no of times he got me flowers can be counted on my fingers within our 4 year relationship..and when i argued about flowers.. he got mad and hung up and just ghosted me for hours even though I sent reassuring texts that I appreciate everything he does for us and that maybe my tone should have been better and that i am sorry if i hurt him..that i meant no disrespect and offered to order something he likes to eat ..he downright rejected it and just left..yet again.Mind u i have begging for flowers since years..its not about flowers..its about getting one from him..i know i sound pathetic...i really dont know what to do..I love him i dont wanna leave him..over something petty but its the little things that hurt together the most right..please advise me reddit. Be respectful in the comments..

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about half a year, but were close friends for 2 years prior to dating. I'm also going to add that my bf is diagnosed with OCD. I just feel like our relationship is the center of his world and to me it's just something that I value in my life. He is my best friend, I feel safe, secure, loved, and I love sharing my life with him. He and our relationship are one of my top priorities and both are very important to me. To me it feels like the relationship is almost his whole life. It is all he thinks about. He has really bad trust issues so he is constantly on edge and worried that something bad is going to happen. It has gotten to the point where I just refuse to give him reassurance because I think it just fuels it even more. He says his nervous system is so shot and that he is so anxious that he can't even be himself or enjoy himself when we are together. All he can think about is monitoring and assessing our interactions. Everything is a possible incompatibility or reason why this relationship may not work. I'm abroad right now for the next couple of months taking care of my sick grandpa and he is losing his mind. Says no matter what he does, he can't distract from the thoughts he has about the relationship. He is afraid that I am going to cheat or do something to hurt him. Recently he developed a fear that I'm manipulating him and just using him. I don't know how to navigate this at all. I love him, but this is just too much for me to handle. I'm also diagnosed with OCD so I can understand what he is experiencing to some extent, but I have worked extensively on my attachment issues so I don't really experience what he is experiencing. There are many uncertainties in relationships but one thing that I am certain about is that my life will continue without him and I will be fine without him. I just want and choose to spend it with him because I love him. He is terrified. I feel awful honestly, he seems miserable. How can I support him without taking on too much responsibility for his problems?

TL;DR:
Bf has trust issues and attachments issues, accompanied by OCD. He is obsessed about relationship to the point where he can't even enjoy our time together and he is miserable. How can support him without hurting myself?

So we both organized a trip to her city for 6 nights. Today is day 3 and the vibe has died completely. Before we were making plans getting excited to visit our favorite pub, watch a romantic movie, cuddle, relax etc... Well we ended up watching some movies, just sat apart a bit, then she spent most of her time in her room while I'm basically spending the whole 6 days together sleeping on the sofa, or just watching TV by myself until the evening when she comes down to cook, watch a movie with me then go to bed early to scroll TikTok.

Last night I ask her to be official finally (we planned this and picked out a ring together), she was nervously laughing and a bit hesitant, then agreed. Not sure if she's waiting for me to leave to break it to me that she's not ready or what. What was weird on the phone before the trip she said she missed me, said we're not going to have sex again until I ask her out, now suddenly that I'm here for a second time around she's asexual again and wants t wait a year again. Feel I massively wasted my time coming. I have no clue whether I did something or what. We had a chat she said her love language is service such as cooking for me and she stroked my hair once.

Today we just sat on the sofa, on our phones in silence before she went to take a nap, doesn't want to go out, play a card game or anything. We tried charades, I played it wrong and she said games is not our thing and just doesn't feel like doing anything at all. Have no clue what's the point of me being here if I'm just gonna be sat on the sofa in silence.

Is this relationship DOA or what? This time was weird because last time it was more intimate.

tl:dr = Finally went on a trip to see my gf for 7 nights, we've just been apart most of the time.

Hello! Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language and I wrote this fast!

My mother has been with this man, my stepfather, since I was like 5 or so. He is a good man (bar is in hell) but he is the most passive being that has ever existed. I have moved back in two years ago because I want to buy a house next year and I have a little brother (12M) that also lives with us. For context, he has issues with his back and has to take "strong" painkillers, so he does not work.

We do not have money problems, I help out as much as I can but my mother gives me back my money because she wants me to save and he wants him to pay. He gets a check for not working, but it is shit pay and only covers general house expenses like groceries, and not even for the whole month. I pay for all the bills and have taken over my brother expenses (honestly very little, like videogames, clothes and money for the mall, I also pay for his school supplies and books but I get, the money for the books back at the end of the year so it's no big deal) and the house was already paid for by my mother. He only pays for groceries. They get into fights constantly because my mother wants him to get a job because she thinks I should not be paying for that many things in the house and that she wants me to be able to move out and that I shouldn't pay for that many things regarding my brother.

I do agree with her, he is my brother and I, of course, will spend my money on him regardless of whoever else spends it, but I do not think I should be buying him clothes (he is growing, he needs to get new things for the wardrobe almost yearly) or his school supplies. Or giving him notes for when he goes out with his friends, because he does have a father that is not willing to work; and specially because the whole reason we agreed about me moving back in was because rent is hell, and she wanted me to save and buy rather than rent out and spend triple the money. He has been trying for a disability and he does not get it because his strong meds are paracetamol and palexia, and he just spends his days laying on the sofa or complaining. And he also takes THC (I think it's called that, like a joint but without the addictive part or whatever).

He does not take the whole of the workload at home either. I split it with him (I work from home 3 days a week) and I am in charge of cooking because my mother is on a diet. They are arguing every day non-stop, and he just stares at her and says whatever he can to defend himself. Think the victim, like "I am not like that", "I am in so much pain", "I am not, I am not, I am not"; you get the idea.

So, the thing is, there is a renovation at the building now and every owner has to pay 20k. The first payment was last week, 5k, and my mother asked him to give him half. He has been putting off making the transfer to her, with things like "I forgot" or "you didn't tell me the exact quantity". I try to keep out of it, it is not my place to intervene and I already do my part, I only intervene when my brother is sad and wants them to stop. But I did join the argument this time and I got mad and transferred half of the whole payment (10k) to my mother on the spot and told him that I want him to do whatever and to give it back to me before this year ends, I don't care if he has to do uber eats or whatever.

For me this is a lot, this is 6 months saving as much as I can and I spend as little as possible on myself to move out as fast as I can. He just dismissed me and said that he does not want to work in things like delivery because "it rains a lot and he will get wet".

Honest to god and forgive me for this but I almost hit him square in the head. My mother got really mad at him and she started arguing (alone, he is just looking) and he has that look in his eyes, like he is laughing at you, and I honestly wanted to hit him.

She is sad now, because she feels like I am doing things that I do not have to do and I told her to kick him out. I told her that I would rather stay longer at home and for her and my brother to be fine and happy, because it's like having an oversize plushie that only complains and eats and does not do anything. They haven't been on a trip or out to eat or to take a walk if my mother does not say anything, he is like a total leech and boring as hell. I worry for her because she does not deserve this, and I think that he is getting what he wants with us exploding and getting mad.

I have this irrational fear, because my biological father was a domestic abuser, that he is going to hurt her, my brother or the dog. I know it is irrational and I know, deep down, that he is not like that; but I am really scared about it because I do not like it at all when he just stares when my mother argues at him.

So, yeah, this is it. I do not know what to do or anything. I am out of my depth and I know that this is not my responsibility, but I really do not want my brother to grow up like me. I lived with my mother and him and my two stepsiblings, and the only one that paid attention to me in that house was my mother and she did not have as good as a job as she has now, so I didn't have a lot.

I also feel bad about myself, because I studied a lot and worked very hard to have my job, and now I am delaying moving out and buying a house to move out with my partner for a 60YO dude that does not want to work. Like, I don't know. I also feel bad leaving them alone with him.

Any help appreciated.

TL;DR: moved back to save for a house, stepfather does not work bc on meds, I pay for my brother expenses and the house bills, he is a passive being (no date orchestrated by him in 10 years), renovations in the building (they are 20k, he did not want to pay half to my mother so I did) so everybody mad now and I do not know what to do. My mother won't kick him out.

Me (f35) and boyfriend m(42) have been together for a year now. Our relationship has been quite rocky lately but he insists we can fix our issues.

We had an argument and he said something in the lines of that he wants to feel that he can depend on me if we're going to build a life together. That got me a bit frustrated because I have never felt like I could depend on him. When I asked him why he's not made any steps to show me that we're heading towards a future together he said because he cannot see it yet due to our arguments. I feel like it's really bs, because a lot of the arguments are due to me not feeling secure in this relationship.

He is doing everything he can to convince me that we can work it out but actually hearing the words that he does not see a future with me after a year feels like I'm wasting my time. Am I overreacting or should I move on?

Tl:dr: my (f35) boyfriend (m42) said he does not see a future with me yet because of our arguments. We've been together for a year. Am I wasting my time on him?

I'm 27f and my boyfriend is 28m. we have been together for 3 years.

One thing i have noticed is that we are both good at moving on after disagreements, but we are not always good at actually solving the issue.

Sometimes i let things go because i do not want to start another conversation, and i think he does the same. the problem is that some of these things keep coming back up later.

I do not think we have a bad relationship. i actually think we get along well, which is why i want to fix this before it becomes a bigger problem.

How do couples get better at addressing issues instead of avoiding them?

tl;dr: my boyfriend and i avoid difficult conversations and i want advice on learning to communicate better.

tl;dr

So i’ll try keep this short while engaging.

I have been with my GF ( will be referred to only as GF) for coming up on 6 months. The first 3-4 months were pretty good, we’d see each other multiple times a week, call every night and so on.

Coming to our fourth month, i started to feel different. She did things and would say things/believe in other things that frankly just made me lose interest. We have such different beliefs, religiously, and mainly in the aspect of the future. I started to not enjoy seeing her as much, if not want to organise things and so on.

Coming to the 5th month those feelings got heavier. Early on i told myself it was just a phase or whatever but i can’t keep forcing myself to try believe that. I started considering breaking up, i now do not want to/have the desire to see her as often and it’s starting to feel like a chore.

I think what’s making me feel like this is sometimes the way she acts. I know i’m younger than her age wise, but emotional maturity wise there’s a decent gap. When something doesn’t go her way or she doesn’t like something, she shuts down, doesn’t speak and then brings it up a week later blaming it on me then gets mad.

I don’t know how much longer i can stay in this. Of course sometimes i don’t feel like this, but i have a lingering feeling every day of all of it.

To put the cherry on top, last week we got into an argument and stopped speaking for a few days. honestly, it was peaceful. i wasn’t really thinking about her, i didn’t have to worry about anything, hung out with mates and it was kinda nice.

I talked to some friends and a colleague about it, some said i should just breakup as if someone is costing me this much effort then it isn’t worth it, but others say it seems like she just really really likes me.

My reasons to not breakup this second is 1. i don’t want to regret it, i see other people regret breaking up when they think they lost interest and i don’t want that. 2. We have events coming up that we have both planned for. 3. We have exams on and i don’t want to ruin it for her.

So what do you guys think i should do?

Thankyou

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Hi! Me 25F and my partner 26M are together for 1 year now and my frustrations are building up. He is very pedantic, and not even a little bit. Everything I say, he needs to confirm with google or he just says im wrong. He even tried to argue me on something that was in my master's thesis.

Sometimes I feel so stupid next to him. He even does this with my family. Whenever they're discussing something, he always feels the need to join the discussion to tell them how wrong they are about something.

Besides that, he asks me a lot of questions about my day, what im doing. He says its out of interest but it feels very controlling in a way? He says he loves me 20 times in a day, and its driving me nuts. I dont to hear it 20 times a day to know and believe it.

tl;dr: my partner knows and does everything better, it makes me feel stupid and it makes me feel like i want to be alone

Help a girl out! What is your advice on this one? How would you handle this kind of situation?